Monday, July 15, 2013

An unpopular choice

For those of you who missed the memo, I am a strong, faithful follower of Christ.  While far from perfect, I seek to emulate Christ with how I live my life by walking in his ways and following God's laws.  There is a misconception, I think, that God's law somehow limits personal freedom.  In some ways, sure it does.  Yet, in other ways living within God's law creates freedom.  What do I mean?  

One of the least popular of God's "rules" is that sex belongs inside the union of marriage.  Think about our society.  Sex is portrayed in the media as no big deal.  In a movie, when the hero and heroine sleep together after they've barely had an opportunity to know each other, it's expected.  Part of being a liberated woman is now accepting your sexuality and throwing it out there for all the world to see.  That's what you see the women on TV and in the movies doing, right?  Having one night stands and sleeping with a different guy every night, giving it up in a drunken stupor.  

Tell me this though.  Do even the characters on the screen seem fulfilled by this?  If this is really how we are supposed to be expressing our sexuality, then why do we celebrate marriage?  We're just limited our sexual freedom, right?  

I am twenty-three, a college graduate, a feminist, and... a virgin.  Yes, you read correctly.  I made a promise to God that I would wait until marriage to share that part of myself with another.  I've had boyfriends, not many but a few, and they all respected (if not exactly supported) my position.  It's not always been easy; I have been tempted like every other human being.  There is freedom in my choice.  What freedom?  The freedom to not worry about an STD, or a surprise pregnancy, or whether the person I just slept with really cares or just wanted booty.  When I do get married, and do have sex, I will not have to worry that this relationship is fleeting, that any moment could be the end.  

You may think I'm crazy, or naive, or stupid.  It's okay.  There is a quote that I saw some where that said, "I think the concept of virginity was created by men who thought their penises were so important it changes who a woman is."  I have two things to say about this.  Number one:  men can be virgins two, and God expects the same standard of sexual morality out of both men and women.  Number two:  Being a virgin doesn't change who I am.  It doesn't define me as a person.  Sex is something I choose to refrain from, like some people refrain from eating meat.  My life isn't centered around my (lack of) sex life.  I am living my life under God's and my terms.  When I get married, that relationship will doubtlessly change my life in many ways; it will become part of my life.  

So there it is.  I'm not saying my choice is popular.  I know plenty of people, plenty of Christians, even, who have made a different choice.  And that's okay.  Your choices are between you, God, and your partner.  


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