Planning to be Healthy

So I have noticed a pattern in myself. I get really busy during the week and find myself with free time coming in 20 minute bursts.  I've also gotten increasingly bad at getting out of bed in a timely fashion so a lot of things need to be accomplished before I go to bed or they won't get done.  Most specifically, I have to pick out my clothes and pack my lunch before I head to bed.  

The picking out of the clothes is usually pretty non-traumatic; it takes five minutes, if that, and I hang the outfit on the hooks on the back of my bedroom door.  Boom.  Planning lunch, unfortunately, is more time consuming.  More often than not, what is easy and what is quick takes precedent over what is delicious, healthy, and satisfying.  So what am I supposed to do to solve the issue?  

The best solution I have found is to pack all five days worth of lunches over the weekend.  It is, for whatever reason, much easier to find an hour of time on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon than it is to find 10-15 minutes each night during the week.  I stash the meals in the fridge and pull them out as I go.  This way, I am eating healthy, satisfying lunches each day.  

This week's meal plan: 

Monday

Breakfast:  Smoothie made with peaches, raspberries, almond milk, and kale. 

Lunch:  Tortellini salad (made with tomatoes, broccoli, and mozzarella), carrot sticks and cherry tomatoes with homemade hummus, fiber one lemon bar, and seltzer water with lime. 

Tuesday

Breakfast:  peach raspberry refrigerator oatmeal (this is made by pouring oats, yogurt, milk, and fruit into a container and refrigerating it over night.  In the morning, you grab it and go.)  

Lunch:  Cucumber and broccoli creamy pasta salad, vegetables with homemade hummus, apple slices with peanut butter yogurt dip, and seltzer with lime.  

Wednesday

Breakfast:  cranberry orange refrigerator oatmeal

Lunch:  Tortellini salad (made with tomatoes, broccoli, and mozzarella), vegetables with homemade hummus, apples with almond butter, and seltzer with lime.  

Thursday

Breakfast: Smoothie.  Not sure what kind yet; I'll mix it up tomorrow probably and freeze it. 

Lunch:  Cucumber and broccoli creamy pasta salad, wheat thins and hummus, apple-peanut butter smoothie (with almond milk and chia seeds), and seltzer with lime.  

Friday

Breakfast: Probably yogurt and apple cinnamon oatmeal.  The refrigerator oatmeal really is only good for about 2 days (according to the recipe) and I don't want to push it.  If I have time I'll make something legit.  

Lunch:  The last of the cucumber and broccoli creamy pasta salad, campbell's soup to go, fiber one lemon bar, and seltzer with lime.  

For some people, this amount of planning is probably overkill.  I think the point for me is that I need to make my food decisions when I am of sound mind and not when I'm exhausted and packing my lunch is standing between me and getting to climb into bed.  Or when I'm having a bad day and chips and chocolate seem like perfectly rational things to include in my lunch bag.  

It's kind of funny, though, because one week in the past when I had made the effort to plan out and prepare my lunches, one of my fellow teachers commented on how good my lunch looked.  It wasn't anything overly complicated--I had summer sausage with colby jack cheese, veggies with hummus, and sliced watermelon--but when I made my lunch, I prepared it carefully and made a nice presentation.  Afterall, don't you prefer to eat food that also looks nice?  While my kale smoothies look like toxic sludge, I do my best to make everything else look appealing.  It isn't hard; it's not like I'm carving roses out of tomatoes, but it makes a difference to have my food put into nice individual containers (that I wash and re-use, I might add) rather than schlepping it into plastic bags or dumping it into a single container.  

Whether you are a lunch packer or buy your lunch every day, lunch is a blessed half an hour break in the school day that deserves delicious food to fuel you through the day.  This is just how I do it.  :) 

This post is about boobs (but actually it's about body image and other things)

This post is about my boobs.  Well, it's not only about my boobs but I wanted to give fair warning so that anyone who is potentially offended by this can run away now.  

Today, I went bra shopping.  This was not a planned activity; I was at the outlets, saw the Soma sign and decided to pop in and let a professional tell me what I needed since none of my bras fit anymore.  That's right, none of my $40+ a piece bras fit me anymore.  (Why are bras so expensive?  I feel kind of ridiculous spending so much money on something no one but me sees...  I guess that's the point though.  If a bra is doing what it's supposed to, no one notices it.)

If you're just popping by here and don't know me, I've lost about 45 pounds over the last year.  This is fantastic and I feel great and have gone from wearing a tight size 20 to a loose size 16.  There are down sides though.  One that has become very pointed in the last week is that without that extra layer of padding, I get so much colder than I used to.  Fall has hit us suddenly.  It is not freezing outside; it's been in the 50's yet when I go outside my teeth start chattering.  Lord save me when I get down to my goal weight if this trend continues; I'll need a parka in the summer.  The other downside for me has been my shrinking chest.  

Anatomically speaking, a woman's breasts are made of mammary glands and fat.  So I ought not be surprised at the shrinkage with the whole fat-loss thing.  And as much as I have complained about them in the past, one would think I would be happy with the size reduction.  I mean, they are heavy and they get in the way.  Yet I am now desperate to have them back.  

I think part of this desperation comes from the horror of seeing hundreds of dollars of bras getting thrown in the donation pile because I can't fill them up anymore.  This means I'm going to have to shell out serious $$$ for new ones that will fit.  I won't be able to replace them all at once; just like how I acquired the collection I'll have to get a few at a time.  But still.  This is upsetting.  

In addition to the horror of having to get rid of the bras is the size confusion.  I have worn the same size of bras for the last four or five years (hence the large collection) since I admitted that I needed a larger band size to avoid the horrors of back fat rolls.  I was also very brand loyal to Lane Bryant bras so I could walk into the store (or go online), pick the bras I thought were pretty in my size and check out without having to try on 50 different bras to find one that fit properly only to go home and find that once the elastic relaxed the band was too loose.  

I fully recommend allowing professionals to fit you buy bras.  However, you do need to be wary.  Case in point:  one very nice sales lady saw fit to measure me while I was wearing an ill-fitting padded bra and a heavy sweater.  And told me that I actually need a bra with bigger cups and a bigger band than what I was already wearing.  I told her there was no way, given the way my bras were fitting and she gave me a doubtful look and told me she would take a look at what I tried on.  

Undeterred by her lack of enthusiasm, I forged on through the racks and pulled bras in no less than 5 different sizes.  On my third bra, a different sales lady came in to check on me and I had her remeasure me just to double check that I wasn't crazy.  I was correct and the original measurements I was given were off by two cup sizes and two band sizes.  Lesson learned:  do not let sales ladies measure you for a bra over your outfit.  

I am not above societal pressures.  I won't claim that this is healthy or the way things ought to be but it is the truth and I don't think there is anyone who is in contact with other human beings that can claim they are free of societal pressure.  We are bombarded by messages about what we are supposed to look like.  I think the ideal is something like Barbie.  Or maybe Kim Kardashian.  But the reality is that most women don't look like that.  I certainly don't look like that.  We're supposed to have a perfect hour glass figure with a tiny waist and big boobs.  That's what femininity is, right?  So my breasts shrinking (naturally due to weight loss) makes me less of a woman.  (<--i actually="" don="" fyi="" nbsp="" p="" t="" that="" think="">

I'm kind of ashamed of myself for being dissatisfied with my chest.  I was never happy when they were larger so one would think I would be elated, right?  Well, I see two flaws in this little thought process here.  Flaw #1: This is my body, I am gorgeous, and I need to accept myself cellulite, wiggly bits, shrinking boobs and all.  I don't think I'm ugly.  I don't under any circumstances think I am flat-chested (hahahahaha... I wore a C-cup in the fifth grade). Accepting myself and my body is a daily process.  For all the messages we all receive telling us we don't measure up, it only makes sense to me that we have to remind ourselves just as much that those are lies and though we are not perfect, we are enough.  Flaw #2: If my womanhood is defined by two lumps of fat and mammary tissue positioned on my chest, I am doing a great disservice to not only myself but to other women (and most specifically the millions of women who have fought, are fighting, and will fight breast cancer).  

Only a colorblind person would not notice that things have gone pink for October.  I sang at a breast cancer fundraiser on the first.  The park in town has pink lights wrapped around the tree trunks.  October 13th was supposed to be national no-bra day to raise support for breast cancer (though unless you are making a donation for the right to go braless, I don't see how this is supporting breast cancer research.  Sorry if this offends you but it's true).  No women in my family have ever had breast cancer (no, we get the not-so-popular cancers of the lungs and rectum) so I can't say first or second hand what it is like to go through treatment that often includes disfiguring surgery.  I have heard stories, though, of women who feel like there is something wrong with them after the surgery, like the cancer took something from their soul and not just their bodies.  I think these women are beautiful and strong and that their scars are a mark of their strength (I love the slogan 'fight like a girl').  So who am I to insult these brave, strong, wonderful women by being dissatisfied with my own unmarred, cancer free breasts?  

So what was the point of this?  I've kind of just rambled on for a couple hundred words here about my chest, body image, and breast cancer.  I'll give you my main point right here:  womanhood is not defined by our appearance (after all, I have seen some VERY convincing drag queens before...).  Big boobs, little boobs, or almost non-existent boobs, all women's bodies are beautiful in their own way.  

Do yourself a favor and stop beating yourself up for not looking like you belong on a magazine cover--most of that is photoshop anyway ;)

An Open Letter to my Students

Disclaimer:  the opinions given here are mine and mine only and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of my fellow teachers or any of my employers.  This letter does not reference any particular student, parent, or staff member and any resemblance is the sign of a guilty conscience coincidental.  So don't sue me/fire me/raise a fuss.  

My dear students, 

When I was your age, I never thought that I would one day be the one being the teacher's desk.  I was going to be famous.  I don't think I ever really considered what my teachers did at the end of the day, what their families were like, or how much time they spent grading papers and going to meetings on my behalf.  So I honestly don't really expect you to think too much about me. I think about you a lot, though, and if given the opportunity, there are a lot of things I would love to tell you.  So here we go. 

1. You drive me crazy.  We all have our bad days, including myself.  Some days, however, all of us have a bad day at the same time.  And some days when I'm having a bad day, you cheer me up.  So it all evens out.  

2. You are hilarious. ...usually without meaning to be.  The innocence of youth.  Some times you tell jokes that make me laugh, sometimes it's silly little stories, and sometimes it is the way you act.  It brings a smile to my face... mot of the time.  

3. I care about you more than you realize.  I want you to behave in my class and learn, certainly, but there is so much more to it than that.  I care about who you are, and who you will become.  I worry about you when you seem off.  I want you to be successful not just in school, but in life.  

4. I would protect you with my life.  I don't need to tell you that this is a scary world.  I hope to dear lord Jesus in heaven and on earth that it never comes down to it but know this: if danger starts coming down that hall, you better believe I will put myself between it and you.  

5. I love you, sometimes because of what you do and some times in spite of what you do.  As much as you drive me crazy sometimes, I love each of you in your own way.  

6.  You are the reason I come to work each day.  I didn't take this job to do paperwork, grade papers, and attend meetings.  I took the job because of you and my desire to help you and teach you.  

Halloween is the scariest holiday of the year

During my craft and fabric store adventures on Friday, I also stopped by the Halloween store next to Hobby Lobby.  I am always curious to see what kind of costumes are popular and see what the hot trends are this year.  As usual, and honestly as I expected, the costumes aimed at adult women almost all featured mini skirts, low cut tops (more often than not a bustier), and fishnet stockings.  I cannot figure out why a police officer or nurse would wear fishnet stockings but that's what they sell.  As much as the need for all women's Halloween costumes to be sexy pisses me off, that was not nearly as disturbing as my trip to the children's section.  

Amongst the racks of cheaply made princess dresses and the super hero costumes with the sculpted padded abs I found costumes that were far more disturbing to my sensibilities.  In addition to the fluffy princess dresses and the stereotypical ghost and pirate costumes were duplicates of the "sexy" womens' Halloween costumes.  

Some of you may be going, "What's the big deal?" but I hope most of you are just as appalled as I am.  Now let me explain the problem.  As an adult woman, I am expected to wear something like THIS or THIS in order to be "sexy" or "desirable."  Notice the micro-mini skirts and the ultra tight fit.  One reviewer on the sheriff costume said that even though she was petite (5'2" or so) the skirt was not long enough to cover her butt.  And this is decent to wear in public?  

Now let's take a look at THIS costume.  I would guess the age of the girl in the photo to be around 9 or 10.  She is dressed as a referee but certainly like no referee I have ever seen.  Notice the close fit of the top and most noticeable for me:  the hemline.  It's not much if any long than the skirts on the sheriff or taxi costumes.  Yet this costume is somehow appropriate for a 9 year old.  

This "Night Wing" Costume probably takes the cake for me though.  Notice the spandex top that is printed to look like a bustier.  Notice the skirt so short I would hedge my bets that it doesn't cover her butt in the back.  And notice the fine print that the leggings are not included so essential you're supposed to send your preteen daughter out in her underwear.  

I've blogged before about my commitment to purity.  That commitment is deeply personal and I don't look down on people for making different decisions but do pray to sweet Lord Jesus in heaven that being sexy is not on the priority list of your average preteen.  Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I like to think that the most valuable part of who I am is my mind and heart, not my body and I think we should be teaching young girls (and boys for that matter) the same thing.  The message that these costumes show, both the adult and children's versions, is that our bodies are the most important part of who we are and that showing as much skin as possible is how one is cute or pretty or whatever.  

A lot of this is probably semi-incoherent blathering so I'll give you my main point right here:  What kind of world do we live in where "sexy" is the standard for preteens?  I find it completely unacceptable and I hope you do too.  

Things I've been reading lately

So one of my little secrets is my love for Young Adult and children's fiction.  I just love it.  I don't care if the books are too easy or beneath my level; I enjoy them so I'm going to read them.  Recently, the Scholastic book fair came to our school.  Being the thoughtful and supportive teacher that I am, I took this as an opportunity to support our school by buying lots of books.  

I remember the joy of Book Fair time when I was in school.  The shiny metal shelves of the latest in kid's literary greatness, just waiting to be bought and read.  The stacks of kitten posters, the light up pens and funny erasers.  It was all paradise.  As an adult, I find myself ignoring the stacks of posters and the pretty pink books that I MUST HAVE BECAUSE THEY COME WITH A NECKLACE. This is to be expected as I am now an adult and the idea of a cheap star necklace that will turn my neck green is no longer appealing.  The books themselves are as tantalizing as ever however.  

Book and Image Found HERE

Think Hunger Games.  It is a dystopian world where citizens are broken down into five factions.  Each person chooses his or her faction and is forever separated from the other factions.  They are tested to see what group they belong in and for most it is crystal clear but for Beatrice it is not.  She is Divergent.  She chooses to abandon her family to join the Dauntless faction where she finds herself fighting to remain part of the group she has chosen.  There is some romance woven in but the story would still stand up without it.  She uncovers corruption and has to hide her true identity meanwhile fighting for what is right and learning that it is the combination of her traits that truly make her brave.  This is also becoming a movie that comes out 3/21/14 for which I am excited.  I need to get Book 2: Insurgent and devour that before Book 3 comes out in October. 

Book and Image found HERE

An unlikely friendship is formed between two teenagers passing notes back and forth in a tiny practice room they use.  They are brought together through music as both try to stand up to the pressure coming from all sides.  A friendship is formed, but their other friends and families don't understand.  When music is involved, beauty is created.  

Book and Image found HERE

The fourth and final installment in Lois Lowry's "The Giver" series.  So good.  SOOOO good.  All four books in the series can stand up on their own and be understood but the four in context creates a wonderful story.  Claire was once a member of the Society and gives birth to a son.  He is taken from her and she will go to the ends of the earth to find him.  She sacrifices nearly everything for him and in the end it is her son who must save her.  

Book and Image found HERE

A sci-fi cinderella story.  I'm actually still reading this one but I love it so far.  Cinder is a cyborg and a second class citizen.  Her adoptive step mother hates her and essentially sells her to get rid of her but all is not as it seems.  Cinder is the best mechanic in New Beijing, so good that even Prince Kai has heard of her skill and brings her a broken android with information that just might change Cinder's life.  I can hardly wait for the ending.  :) 

Book and Image found HERE

Azalea and her sisters love to dance more than just about anything else but when their mother dies on Christmas giving birth to their twelfth sister Lily, they are thrust into the world of mourning: no color, no light, no music, and especially no dancing.  Her father the king does not understand them and treats Azalea like a child.  She rebels, finding a hidden place in the castle guarded by a mysterious man called the Keeper where she and her sisters can go to dance at night.  As the year of mourning draws to a close, she may find that the keeper's price is too high.  Yet, through the love of her family and friends and Azalea's own stubbornness he will be defeated.  I don't want to give away all the plot twists so I will leave it at that.  

I love reading.  I did buy other books when I bought these and I'll probably post about them another time.  If you want to borrow these, let me know.  I'll give you the hook up.

. 

Gotta Get Down on Friday...

...Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.  Partying?  Not so much.  Tonight, I made a very exciting trip to Walmart to hit redbox and get hagan daas.  I watched Star Trek and ate sorbet and have soaked in the tub with a glass of Niagra and my book.  Mmmmm....  I feel so good right now.  

Tomorrow, I am going to a vocal workshop in Lewes.  I haven't done much with my voice lately so this is a nice change.  I hope to ask about how to preserve my voice when I find myself talking and shouting so much in my life as a teacher.  I was so exhausted, vocally and physically, on Tuesday night and I can't keep on like that.  Maybe if the kids behaved themselves I wouldn't have to yell?  Somehow I don't think this is a good long term plan...

After I return from this workshop, Mom and I are going to go shopping at Goodwill.  With the whole I'm-losing-weight thing, I almost perpetually need new clothing.  On Sunday I realized my leggings were too big.  As in sagging in the butt too big.  Enter today when I decided to wear tights with my skirt.  They were a new pair that I bought in the spring.  When I first put them on, all was fine but as the day drew on, I kept having to yank them up as they were sagging around the knees.  Not a look I was going for.  

I am at the point where people are suddenly realizing that I have, in fact, lost a lot of weight.  I am down two sizes in pants and three in dresses (well, depending on the cut.  I still have huge hips).  I used to use my hips as shelves for carrying things.  I can still do that but not as easily.  The other day I was carrying a cardboard box on my hip and had to stop every 30 seconds to adjust because it was digging into my hip bone.  Ouch.  I haven't had that problem before.  Don't get me wrong--I still have more padding than I would like but I am now wearing smaller clothes than I wore in high school, a very good feeling.  

It was a rough week at work for a lot of different reasons I won't get into here.  Frustrating as it has been, the people that I work with are amazing and I believe that we are all committed to making a positive impact on these kids' lives.  I am so thankful for the friends that I have made in work, both last year and this year.  

Sunday is church day.  I am digging my new Sunday school class and it is also a youth luncheon Sunday, which I will be helping with because apparently 8 hours a day five days a week is not enough time with kids for me.  Middle school kids have wormed their way into my heart.  Apparently this is the age group of my heart.  Go figure.  

After church, I need to make a run down to Salisbury to pick up a birthday gift for my brother.  And also starbucks.  and possibly Old Navy.  oh, and Michaels.  I haven't been to Michael's in FOREVER.  ...This is starting to sound expensive.  Probably not the best since I was a week to wait before I get a real paycheck...  One way or another, I will figure it out.  

Hopefully I'll get to do some sewing this weekend.  I've knocked out a new garment each weekend and it would be a shame to break the streak...  I'm sure there is something in my stash waiting to become gorgeous.  :)  

Entry in which I make fun of myself

So funny story.  I worked very hard to try to remember all the French I know and post signage in the room in French.  I made verb conjugation charts and tried very hard to remember basic classroom commands.  I didn't fully trust myself to remember it all so I looked a lot of it up to double check.  Unfortunately, despite those precautions, I seem to have made some mistakes.  The teacher I will be working with pointed a few of these out.  Another one occurred to me after she left.  

On the door to my room, I have a sign that says "Chambre 107, Mademoiselle Wasson, Classe francaise."  This is one I didn't look up.  I knew "chambre" is a word for room.  It was the sign about the bathroom that made me realize me error.  See, in France, and in a lot of Europe in fact, they have split bathrooms that would have the toilet in one room and the shower and sink in another.  So I was thinking about how the toilet room is called "la toilette" or "le W.C." and how the shower room is called "la salle de bains" which literally means room of baths.  Room of baths.  Salle=room.  Crap.  But I know chambre means room.  Some kind of room anyway.  So what does chambre mean?  

La chambre can mean a few different things.  It is an antiquated term for room in general, but it usually means "chambers" as in court chambers or the like... or it means bedroom.  Or hotel room.  So welcome to bedroom 107.  I'll need to make a new sign now.  It's not *technically* incorrect but "salle de classe 107" certainly has better implications.  

In other news, two weeks down.  Apparently I rock as a facilitator.  But we all know that I'm awesome anyway.  This year's staff is awesome.  And I'm here permanently which is like the best thing ever.  Because I'm not subbing and I have my own classroom.  

Outside of school, I am sewing whenever possible.  In fact, I am getting ready to go turn a pile of waiting fabric into a new dress.  And reading.  Lots of reading.  Which is why I haven't been blogging.  Oh well.  Enjoy this post and maybe I'll post something else... at some point. :)