tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35109482791735133292024-03-18T22:43:57.995-04:00Songbird Takes FlightSewing, Crafts, Love, and LifeCaitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-37221321062933629902014-08-12T22:32:00.001-04:002014-08-12T22:32:25.569-04:00Depression affects even the happiest people: Thoughts on the death of Robin Williams<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
To his many adoring fans, Robin Williams will always be remembered as a funny guy. He almost always had a smile on his face in public and though he had two rehabs stints (the most recent in 2006), it really seemed like he had his act together. That's why it's so shocking to many, even those that knew he suffered from depression, that he would commit suicide. </div>
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He had everything going for him, right? He was famous! He was wealthy! He had a great family and many adoring fans! What could possibly be so wrong in his life that he would choose to end it? Unfortunately, that's how depression works. It's a voice in the back of your head telling you that your happiness is a lie, that people don't love you, and your successes don't matter. Sometimes you can snap yourself out of it or someone will help you snap out of it and sometimes... you can't. </div>
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I tell you this from personal experience. I suffer from clinical depression and have been on and off medication since I was sixteen. Looking back on my childhood memories, I think the issues really go back to when I was as young as ten but it was written off as normal puberty/growing up issues. I wish it was. I wish I didn't have depression but I do and it is something I have to deal with. </div>
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I think there is a misconception that people with depression just need to get out of their own way, suck it up, and deal with it because life stinks sometimes. We all have hard times right? For me, depression didn't just manifest itself as sadness. I had horrible mood swings and bouts of severe anxiety. I would burst into tears at the least provocation. I was awful to be around at times. I would get mad at myself after the fact, after my ridiculous outbursts and crying jags. Why was I feeling that way? Why? </div>
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My original official diagnosis was PMDD (as my episodes were worse around that time of the month) and I was prescribed a form of Prozac. I did very well with this for several years. I was doing so well, I slowly went of the medication and I was doing fine. For a while. </div>
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You know those commercials you see for Cymbalta with their slogan: "Depressions Hurts- Cymbalta can help?" Well, depression can manifest with physical symptoms. In my case, it manifested itself in the way of digestive issues: lack of appetite, reflux, and diarrhea so severe I had to seek care from a gastroenterologist. My test results (including an endoscopy and colonoscopy) were inconclusive so I stopped going and dealt with it as best I could with over the counter medicines as needed. When I went back on my anti-depressant, however, my symptoms leveled out, as did my mental and emotional well being. </div>
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I had (and still have) good friends that stuck by me even at my worst. I knew that logically but depression does screwy things with your brain and makes you think/feel that people don't care about you and don't love you. It makes you feel like you are worthless. It feels like you don't have a reason to keep on living. </div>
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I was never suicidal in the sense of actively seeking to end my own life or making a plan but it would cross my mind in the darkest moments. For the most part, while I had no particular desire to live, I also had no particular desire to die. I was completely indifferent. One positive force in my life was my family and friends: I knew I could never do something like that to them. The thought of someone I love reading a suicide note or discovering my body was--and still is--horrifying to me. </div>
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No one knew about any of this, however. I kept it from all my family and friends and pretended everything was okay. For the most part, people bought it. The people closest to me always could tell something was up but I don't think they ever realized the extent. My lowest lows were back in high school, right before I started medication but my relapses/flare ups/whatever you want to call them has been severe enough on their own. I always had enough get-up-and-go to get out of bed and go through the motions but sometimes I barely managed. The fall semester of my senior year was the worst for that but I'm not sure that's surprising given that my mother was battling cancer at home while I was trying to be a normal college senior. My emotional swings didn't make it easy for anyone that I lived with. Maybe I should have explained it to them and maybe they would've gotten it or maybe they would suffer a lot of the misconceptions of the general public about the real affect of depression on a person's life. I didn't want to burden them with this information. Maybe they'll read it now and know that I wasn't just a lunatic. </div>
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I think one of the misconceptions about depression is that being depressed means you are sad all the time and are never happy. For most people, this just isn't true. I still felt happiness. I could still crack a joke. I could still smile. But the negative emotions would just become overwhelming. </div>
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I think happy people, like Robin Williams, have some of the worst struggles with depression. He was funny and successful and he just wasn't supposed to be depressed! He was supposed to be like the characters he played in so many comedies. And yet, his depression was severe enough to make him feel like his only option was to end his life. </div>
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Mental illness carries a huge stigma, even the relatively common place forms like mild depression or anxiety. There is a perception that you just have to suck it up. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. The reason it is depression (a clinical diagnosis) and not just sadness (an emotion) is because you can't just get yourself going. Physiologically, it is a shortage of neurotransmitters in the brain. To way over simplify, it is a lack of serotonin--which is why SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors) are the front line of anti-depressants. It is, in fact, a physical issue in the brain. You wouldn't tell someone with diabetes that they need to suck it up and get over it so don't tell someone with depression to suck it up and get over it. </div>
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I hope that the suicide of a high-profile celebrity like Robin Williams opens up people's eyes to the ravaging affect of depression. Depression takes so many forms and can drive people to do the unthinkable. I am praying for the family and friends of Robin Williams and the families and friends of the many other people who have also taken their life because of depression. I hope we are able to open up a dialogue about depression and make it less taboo to talk about depression and other forms of mental illness. </div>
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Robin Williams, rest in peace. </div>
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Blessings,</div>
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Caitlin</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/screencrush.com/files/2012/06/robin-williams-worst-pre-fame-jobs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/screencrush.com/files/2012/06/robin-williams-worst-pre-fame-jobs.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">July 21st, 1951-August 11th, 2014<br />Image from the movie 'Patch Adams' found <a href="http://screencrush.com/robin-williams-worst-pre-fame-jobs/" target="_blank">HERE</a></td></tr>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-74948670750609348242014-08-09T18:06:00.001-04:002014-08-09T18:06:14.067-04:00Serving others, even without the comforts of home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
It's been a long while since I've posted. I've been busy and I would tell you all about it, except that I have something else on my heart right this red hot second. </div>
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Every summer, my church does a mission trip to the Cherokee Indian reservation in North Carolina. It's approximately thirteen hours in the car, once you include potty breaks and meals. Because of that, we left at 3 in the morning on July 26th and arrived at about 4 in the afternoon. I rode in the back seat of the Mountaineer that was populated with the adult contingent and slept for virtually the entire drive other than meals at Shoney's and Chic-fil-a. I recommend it because it made the drive feel very short (though the crick in my neck was something else...). </div>
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The accommodations at the church are not exactly plus. There are two bunk houses and us girls stay in the one closest to the church. There are rows of bunk beds with varying degrees of head room. Despite my five foot two height, I could not sit up in my bed without hitting my head. I got one of the better mattresses though, which was exciting. There are also a few old hospital beds that I imagine were donated so that larger teams could come in. I almost took one of them but one of the women warned that she snores so I declined. Our team was small enough that I was able to use the top bunk of my bed to lay out my stuff (Which I prefer to living out of a suitcase for a week). There are three showers, one of which is in a separate bathroom with its own toilet and sink (the lap of luxury!). However, the supply of hot water is somewhat... limited. So I had lukewarm showers most of the week. But that's okay because when I did get a hot shower and when I got home, the hot water felt like I was in a spa. Seriously. The bath I had when I got home was arguably the best of my life. </div>
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In some ways, life in the bunkhouse almost like you're at camp. Privacy is limited but there is a great sense of community when you can see everybody and everybody can see you. It's not the best night's sleep you've ever had but as tiring as construction work is, you are grateful for every minute of rest.</div>
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I cannot say enough for the quality of food the ladies (and man) in the kitchen put forth. It's awesome and it's so nice to wake up to a hot breakfast and come home to a delicious dinner with dessert waiting for later in the evening. If you leave the table hungry, it's your fault. </div>
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I spent my week working on two different projects. Both of them involved painting decks. It doesn't sound like major hard work, right? It wasn't difficult so much as tedious as you had to get each board and each picket covered in paint or varnish. It involved being hunched over, squatting, or standing on my tip toes to reach the bare spots. I would finish the day with every muscle aching. </div>
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I'm trying to paint a realistic picture of what we really do and what it is really like being on a mission trip. It isn't all sunshine and daisies and warm fuzzy feelings. We come to serve, to work and the work that we do is important. Painting a deck doesn't sound as important as building a house or a wheel chair ramp or fixing a roof but putting paint on a deck that sees the rain and snow and wind and heat of the outdoors preserves the work and keeps it from falling apart. </div>
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That's not to say it isn't boring though. I already mentioned it's tedious. As an assistant crew leader, it was often difficult to keep everyone motivated. There isn't a lot of variety of task, you know? And yet... I serve with a joyful heart. </div>
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Let me rewind seven years to the 2007 Cherokee mission trip. I had been bounced from crew to crew and on my last day had been moved from a job I LOVED doing (building a deck) to a cleaning job. I don't like to clean. But it was for a family that desperately needed it as they had just had major construction in their home due to a bad mold problem that had actually landed the wife in the hospital. She had been in rehab but had twenty-four hours to get out so the house desperately needed to be cleaned. So clean we did. I scrubbed cabinets and vents and every imaginable surface. We finished the job satisfied but I was still frustrated at having been pulled from my job so as we were leaving, I talked to Mr. Jim who is our construction head. As a somewhat experienced crew member, I was usually in charge of the saw so it hadn't made sense to me that I had been pulled when a less experienced crew member could've cleaned just as well as I could. I will never forget his reply. He told me that while what I said was true, he knew that I would do the job without complaining and do it to the best of my ability because (and this is where he really got me) I have the heart of a servant. </div>
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Part of me feels like I'm bragging when I say this but what he said is true. Serving others is where my heart lies. It's one of the reasons I think teaching is a profession that suits me. It's about the kids, right? I'd be lying if I said I were perfect and if I said that I did absolutely everything with a joyful heart without ever complaining. I can whine with the best of them (it isn't one of my better qualities). I can also be super bossy. During the week, it was suggested to me that I think of myself more as a coach than a teacher or a boss. I tried really hard to do that but found myself slipping into teacher mode more than I would prefer. But I love to serve. I got up each morning with every muscle aching and was excited to get to work because I was helping people. </div>
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Cherokee is an unbelievably special place, full of special people. There is something in the air or the water or those mountains that is peaceful. It's the winding roads and the slow pace and the people and the mist that hangs over the mountains on a cool morning after it has rained. It's the red mud that clings to my boots. It's the cold streams that run through the woods, babbling over rocks and boulders. It's a place that is instantly home. Even first timers call it home within a few days. I wish I could fully explain this place but I can't even begin; it is a place that must be experienced for you to know what I'm talking about. </div>
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I've rambled on in this post over several days, trying to commit my thoughts and feelings into words. Life back in Seaford is stressful right now as myself and my fiance work to make important life decisions about where to live and how to plan for a secure financial future. I am prone to anxiety and have been trying to meditate on Phillipians 4:6-7. I'm trying to leave it all in God's hands (I know it is) but it isn't easy for someone like me who has always been a worrywart. The week in Cherokee was not only a week to serve but a week to reflect on the decisions to come. I won't claim everything was instantly crystal clear but one thing surely did: God is number one. Everything else comes after. </div>
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I don't really have pictures to share with you all. I think I took four the whole week because I was focused more on being present in each moment rather than trying to capture it for posterity. You'll just have to come to find out what a beautiful place it is. :)</div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-83451375330831832322014-01-27T22:40:00.001-05:002014-01-27T22:40:07.718-05:00I'll never be...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<i>I'll never be...</i></div>
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A size zero. And I am perfectly okay with that. While I'd love to lose a few more, I could stay the size I am for the rest of my life and be perfectly satisfied. </div>
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Neat and organized. Much to the chagrin of my mother, I am messy and chaotic and disorganized. And I'm okay with that. I clean up when I want to or when I need to. There are more important things to me. </div>
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Completely free of judgement. Nor will I ever be free from caring about people's judgements about me. This is a hard one for me to admit to. I am doing a lot better on this front, and I rarely voice my judgements and frustrations with others publicly. I hold myself to a very high standard in many ways, and it's hard at times when people don't hold themselves to those same expectations. More and more, though, I am able to push past my judgmental nature and find my empathy and compassion. I try to place myself in the other person's shoes. I am striving to stop seeing the specks when I'm walking around with a plank in my own eye. </div>
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<i>I'll never be...</i></div>
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Done learning. I'm an adult and a teacher, and sometimes I swear I'm learning more than the kids each day. I'm not sure this is a bad thing. </div>
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Perfect. And that's okay, because there aren't perfect people. To claim anything else would be a flat out LIE. The point for me, though, is that despite all my flaws, all my messed-up views and screwed up ways, Jesus loved me enough to die for me. That's something I can't forget. When I find myself judging someone, I try to look through the eyes of Jesus and love like he does. Do I always succeed? No. But every day I try, and try, and try again. </div>
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<i>I'll never be able to fully love like Jesus, but I surely can try. </i></div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-25473453373729664302013-12-09T12:12:00.000-05:002013-12-09T12:12:25.923-05:00Every Day Angels<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I hurt EVERY WHERE right now. Once I assume a position, I'm kind of stuck there for a good while because shifting around is quite traumatic. Grouchy as pain makes me, I will do my level best to deal with it with a smile. Why? Because it could be UNBELIEVABLY worse than it is. </div>
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Let me back up. I spent the weekend down in Wallop's Island with my boyfriend and his family. He and I were in the Chincoteague Christmas parade last night and it was all great fun. I am directing the Christmas cantata at church so I needed to leave early enough to make it to church by 9:30. I hit the road at about 7:45 with a big fat smile on my face. It was raining and every once in a while I saw a few sleet pellets but nothing that really drew my concern. </div>
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I was driving up the overpass toward the bypass when I passed a sign that said "caution: Bridges Freeze." I dearly wish I had taken that seriously. It hadn't been raining or sleeting very much for my drive and the temperature was technically above freezing so I wasn't worried... </div>
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...until I saw the layer of ice ahead of me. At which point it was too late. I tapped the brakes to slow down from my 60mph and immediately went into a spin, slam into the guardrail, bouncing off and coming to a stop on the shoulder facing the same direction I had just been travelling. It happened so quickly, there wasn't even time to be scared. I could see the giant tear in my back bumper, the missing part of my front bumping lying fifty feet down the road, and the huge dirt divots my car had left on the grassy shoulder. I called Mom, then Travis, then Mom again because she didn't answer the first time. Mom told me to call 911 to report the accident. At this point I had seen two other cars spin out and go to toward the grassy area in the center. One was able to drive away but the guy in the red Toyota Tacoma was stuck like I was. </div>
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I reported the accident and then called Travis back who was sending his mom to get me. While on the phone with him, I saw another car spin out, miss my car by about 5 feet, and land against the guardrail. She was hysterical so I helped her out of the car, urging her to get out of the vehicle and come away from the car. I tried to comfort her as best as I could. At this point, another gentleman had stopped and was telling us all to get away from our cars in case of another wreck. I told her to call her parents and make sure she told them she was okay. I think she might've been seventeen. </div>
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When I hung up the phone with Travis, I called the woman who was in charge of the concert I was supposed to sing in that afternoon. I was 99% sure I wasn't going to make it. As I clicked "End" I heard the other girl scream and looked up to see a white Nissan spinning out and skidding right for me. The details here are pretty fuzzy. I don't know if I actually blacked out or not. I tried to run but it was too late. The car rammed into me. There are a few second of blur and then I remember being on the ground in an awkward position, one shoe missing, my glasses off my face, and just in shock. </div>
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I didn't move. I at least had the presence of mind to not move when there was the possibility of head/neck/back injuries. At this point, I started screaming and crying bloody murder. I didn't even hurt any where at this point. I was just grateful I was alive and beyond consolation. A guy who saw what happened climbed over the guard rail and I listened as he called 911 for an ambulance. The driver of the car got out and asked me if I was okay. </div>
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This is when the pain started, mostly in my left leg where i took the brunt of the car hitting me. I wiggled my toes but didn't move otherwise. I was in an awkward position, slightly twisted and crumpled on the ground, my shoe gone and my coat hiked up. As I lay there, my kind stranger called my mother for me to let her know I was hurt and being taken to the hospital. Stuck in the same position, on the cold ground, I couldn't see a lot of what was going on. At least one person came and threw a blanket over me and pulled my coat down a little bit. </div>
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I wish I remembered the name of the guy who called 911 and my parents and stayed with me until the state trooper and the EMTs got there. He kept me calm and managed to get me to stop screaming and crying. An off duty EMT who had been driving by came and assessed me while I was waiting for the ambulance and helped calm me down. They checked my pockets for my cell phone when I asked. I was in such a befuddled state, I didn't remember I had been holding it until later when I was in the ambulance. </div>
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Because I was over the guardrail that had earlier protecting me from having my car wind up at the bottom of a very, very steep hill, they needed back up to get me onto a backboard, over said rail, and into the ambulance. The very nice female EMT kept talking to me as she was assessing and after the fire department arrived, they got me onto the board (still in an awkward position) and me head and neck braced with blocking since they couldn't get a collar on me due to my coat, and were hesitant to cut my coat off out there in the freezing cold weather. I was then carried on the board, lifted over the guard rail, handed off to another group of people, most of whom I couldn't see, put on the stretcher, and placed in the ambulance. As I was not critically injured, there was some initial stuff done on scene. They needed to check on my left leg where I was having the most pain. </div>
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What they don't show/tell you in the movies and on TV is that in an emergency situation, they will pretty much strip you naked to get visuals on your injuries and to care for you. My coat and jeans were (unsurprisingly) torn anyway. They cut one leg of my jeans open on site and cut my coat off to be able to get monitors etc on me. At this point, I had one shoe on (I somehow lost the other) and they were kind enough to cover me with blankets. They had waited to take the time to physically strap me to the board as they wanted to get me out of the cold first. This was not a pleasant process as it involved thick nylon straps going across my bruised and tender legs and arms but I survived the pain. </div>
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They had to wait for a second ambulance. I have no idea what the details were there, to be honest, because when strapped to a board and told not to move, you are rather limited on what you are able to see. I pretty much had a view of the ceiling of the ambulance and the face of the female EMT. I was taken to PRMC, lights and sirens and all of that, and rolled in where the doctors and nurses took over. I was transferred from the backboard to the stretcher where further evaluation took place. My jeans and coat were cut the rest of the way off. Thankfully, my shirt, cardigan, and bra were able to be removed without cutting them off, though the former two have tears in the sleeve. I'm going to have to come up with some sort of creative way to fix them because the shirt was new and the sweater is the love of my cardigan life. </div>
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The nurses and techs and social workers and doctors were extremely kind to me. I was brought blanket after blanket when I could stop shivering, handed a phone to call my mom as soon as it came available, and was well cared for. They were my angels. </div>
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The girl I had helped out of her car and tried to calm down was apparently very worried about me, afraid I was grievously injured and concerned that it was her fault I had been hit. The hospital couldn't release any information on my condition but they asked if it was okay for her to come back. I said yes, and got to assure her that I was going to be fine, and that I didn't blame her (how could I? It wasn't like I was standing next to her car when I was hit. I was 30 feet beyond my own vehicle). She said she would pray for me, and I told her I would pray for her. She thanked me for herself, and on behalf of her parents for helping her. I thought it was really nice of her and her parents to want to make sure I was okay and to thank me. </div>
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I was eventually given pain medicine (the non-narcotic kind) via IV and sent off to X-ray to have pictures done of my ENTIRE left leg, hip to toes. My parents arrived soon after the X-rays were taken, and worked some on gathering my things that were spread throughout the room. My X-rays came back completely clean so I was cleared to leave with a prescription for 600mg of ibprofen, orders to rest and follow up with my doctor, and warnings that the pain was going to get worse. Monday would be worse, and Tuesday would likely be even worse than Monday. </div>
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After I had put on clothes (mom brought me sweatpants), we got in touch with the state trooper who gave me accident report #1 (from when I spun out and hit the rail) and got my most important stuff out of the car: my purse, ipod, kindle, and one of the bags of clothes which, thankfully, included my boots as my TOM's were soaked and muddy (hoping they aren't a total loss). Still waiting on accident report #2. </div>
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My IV was removed, paperwork was signed, and I was discharged and allowed to walk out on my own power. Travis had been making his way to the hospital and arrived just as we were leaving, so I rode with him for us to try to locate my car (and stuff) but it was apparently taken to an impound lot. So we went home. It was a very nerve-wracking experience to be in a car again, even not driving, especially with the snow and slush on the road. We hit up Hardees for a quick lunch and a drink (since I was extremely thirsty. For most of my hospital tenure, I couldn't drink anything until they were sure I wasn't going to have to be taken in for surgery). </div>
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Upon making it home, I was waited on hand and foot (literally, when Travis fixed my socks for me) by Travis and my Mom. I promised Travis I won't leave the house except to go to the doctor. Trust, me this is an easy promise to keep. I hurt every where right now. I have whiplash, and my neck is honestly probably the most painful part of my body right now. Nevermind the huge bruises, the scrapes, and cuts, my abdominal muscles from rib cage to pelvis hurt. I will take every ache and pain with as much of a smile as I can muster though. I am lucky to be alive and relatively uninjured. </div>
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Mom asked me if I saw any angels taken care of me, and I said "Just the human variety." I never saw any winged heavenly angels carrying me off, but I did see angels in the faces of strangers who covered me in blankets, called my mom, and stopped to care for me. I wish I could thank them all for their help, for their kindness, for their compassion. I may not have seen any winged heavenly creatures, but surely I saw the faces of angels yesterday. </div>
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'Til next time, </div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-39608442282966540602013-11-28T13:21:00.001-05:002013-11-28T13:21:36.436-05:00My Cup Runneth Over<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Happy Thanksgiving to one and all. Today is the day we set aside to remember what we are thankful for... a few hours before running up our credit card balances on getting a whole bunch of other stuff. I will not be in that crowd, FYI, though my poor brother and boyfriend are stuck manning the walmart for the crazed black Friday/Gray Thursday crowds. </div>
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This list is in no particular order. Some things are little, something are big. I'm thankful for all of them. </div>
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1. The saving grace of Jesus Christ who has set me free from sin and death</div>
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2. My Family and my friends (who are like my family). Also my wonderful boyfriend Travis who does things like send me flowers just to brighten my day and help me do my thanksgiving baking. </div>
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3. My job and my work family. Through the craziest of days, the people that I work with are FANTASTIC and I am proud to be part of Seaford Middle School. </div>
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4. My mom. It was not long ago that we didn't think she would be here now. God has definitely shown his power and his grace in her life. </div>
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5. My home. Living with my parents can be stressful at time but I am so grateful that I am able to have a wonderful home with people I love. </div>
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6. The fourteen years we had with Fonzie. Though it was terrible to lose him this past summer, having him for fourteen years was amazing. He gave us ten times more than we ever gave him. </div>
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7. Coffee. Yes, coffee deserves a separate mention because it is important to my life. </div>
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8. The food that I eat, the healthy and the not so much. </div>
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9. My church. I cannot imagine life without my church family. They have loved and supported me for my entire life. </div>
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10. My health. I could stand to lose a few but overall I am healthy and happy. </div>
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11. My freedom. There are many young men and women who are not with their families this thanksgiving. Some are out in the heat of the dessert or the cold of the storm, fighting for my freedom. I am beyond thankful for them. </div>
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12. This beautiful earth. From the flowers that come from the ground to the orange and golden leaves, it is beautiful. </div>
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I have so much more that I could and should say but that would take forever. For now, this list shall suffice as I am preparing to spend Thanksgiving surrounded by my amazing family. </div>
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Love and Blessings always,</div>
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Caitlin</div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-39256083663899322342013-11-02T23:14:00.000-04:002013-11-02T23:14:09.034-04:00Planning to be Healthy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So I have noticed a pattern in myself. I get really busy during the week and find myself with free time coming in 20 minute bursts. I've also gotten increasingly bad at getting out of bed in a timely fashion so a lot of things need to be accomplished before I go to bed or they won't get done. Most specifically, I have to pick out my clothes and pack my lunch before I head to bed. </div>
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The picking out of the clothes is usually pretty non-traumatic; it takes five minutes, if that, and I hang the outfit on the hooks on the back of my bedroom door. Boom. Planning lunch, unfortunately, is more time consuming. More often than not, what is easy and what is quick takes precedent over what is delicious, healthy, and satisfying. So what am I supposed to do to solve the issue? </div>
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The best solution I have found is to pack all five days worth of lunches over the weekend. It is, for whatever reason, much easier to find an hour of time on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon than it is to find 10-15 minutes each night during the week. I stash the meals in the fridge and pull them out as I go. This way, I am eating healthy, satisfying lunches each day. </div>
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This week's meal plan: </h2>
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Monday</h3>
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Breakfast: Smoothie made with peaches, raspberries, almond milk, and kale. </div>
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Lunch: Tortellini salad (made with tomatoes, broccoli, and mozzarella), carrot sticks and cherry tomatoes with homemade hummus, fiber one lemon bar, and seltzer water with lime. </div>
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Tuesday</h3>
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Breakfast: peach raspberry refrigerator oatmeal (this is made by pouring oats, yogurt, milk, and fruit into a container and refrigerating it over night. In the morning, you grab it and go.) </div>
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Lunch: Cucumber and broccoli creamy pasta salad, vegetables with homemade hummus, apple slices with peanut butter yogurt dip, and seltzer with lime. </div>
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Wednesday</h3>
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Breakfast: cranberry orange refrigerator oatmeal</div>
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Lunch: Tortellini salad (made with tomatoes, broccoli, and mozzarella), vegetables with homemade hummus, apples with almond butter, and seltzer with lime. </div>
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Thursday</h3>
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Breakfast: Smoothie. Not sure what kind yet; I'll mix it up tomorrow probably and freeze it. </div>
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Lunch: Cucumber and broccoli creamy pasta salad, wheat thins and hummus, apple-peanut butter smoothie (with almond milk and chia seeds), and seltzer with lime. </div>
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Friday</h3>
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Breakfast: Probably yogurt and apple cinnamon oatmeal. The refrigerator oatmeal really is only good for about 2 days (according to the recipe) and I don't want to push it. If I have time I'll make something legit. </div>
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Lunch: The last of the cucumber and broccoli creamy pasta salad, campbell's soup to go, fiber one lemon bar, and seltzer with lime. </div>
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For some people, this amount of planning is probably overkill. I think the point for me is that I need to make my food decisions when I am of sound mind and not when I'm exhausted and packing my lunch is standing between me and getting to climb into bed. Or when I'm having a bad day and chips and chocolate seem like perfectly rational things to include in my lunch bag. </div>
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It's kind of funny, though, because one week in the past when I had made the effort to plan out and prepare my lunches, one of my fellow teachers commented on how good my lunch looked. It wasn't anything overly complicated--I had summer sausage with colby jack cheese, veggies with hummus, and sliced watermelon--but when I made my lunch, I prepared it carefully and made a nice presentation. Afterall, don't you prefer to eat food that also looks nice? While my kale smoothies look like toxic sludge, I do my best to make everything else look appealing. It isn't hard; it's not like I'm carving roses out of tomatoes, but it makes a difference to have my food put into nice individual containers (that I wash and re-use, I might add) rather than schlepping it into plastic bags or dumping it into a single container. </div>
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Whether you are a lunch packer or buy your lunch every day, lunch is a blessed half an hour break in the school day that deserves delicious food to fuel you through the day. This is just how I do it. :) </div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-34499053146552379292013-10-26T22:51:00.000-04:002013-10-26T22:51:01.938-04:00This post is about boobs (but actually it's about body image and other things)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This post is about my boobs. Well, it's not only about my boobs but I wanted to give fair warning so that anyone who is potentially offended by this can run away now. </div>
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Today, I went bra shopping. This was not a planned activity; I was at the outlets, saw the Soma sign and decided to pop in and let a professional tell me what I needed since none of my bras fit anymore. That's right, none of my $40+ a piece bras fit me anymore. (Why are bras so expensive? I feel kind of ridiculous spending so much money on something no one but me sees... I guess that's the point though. If a bra is doing what it's supposed to, no one notices it.)</div>
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If you're just popping by here and don't know me, I've lost about 45 pounds over the last year. This is fantastic and I feel great and have gone from wearing a tight size 20 to a loose size 16. There are down sides though. One that has become very pointed in the last week is that without that extra layer of padding, I get so much colder than I used to. Fall has hit us suddenly. It is not freezing outside; it's been in the 50's yet when I go outside my teeth start chattering. Lord save me when I get down to my goal weight if this trend continues; I'll need a parka in the summer. The other downside for me has been my shrinking chest. </div>
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Anatomically speaking, a woman's breasts are made of mammary glands and fat. So I ought not be surprised at the shrinkage with the whole fat-loss thing. And as much as I have complained about them in the past, one would think I would be happy with the size reduction. I mean, they are heavy and they get in the way. Yet I am now desperate to have them back. </div>
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I think part of this desperation comes from the horror of seeing hundreds of dollars of bras getting thrown in the donation pile because I can't fill them up anymore. This means I'm going to have to shell out serious $$$ for new ones that will fit. I won't be able to replace them all at once; just like how I acquired the collection I'll have to get a few at a time. But still. This is upsetting. </div>
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In addition to the horror of having to get rid of the bras is the size confusion. I have worn the same size of bras for the last four or five years (hence the large collection) since I admitted that I needed a larger band size to avoid the horrors of back fat rolls. I was also very brand loyal to Lane Bryant bras so I could walk into the store (or go online), pick the bras I thought were pretty in my size and check out without having to try on 50 different bras to find one that fit properly only to go home and find that once the elastic relaxed the band was too loose. </div>
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I fully recommend allowing professionals to fit you buy bras. However, you do need to be wary. Case in point: one very nice sales lady saw fit to measure me while I was wearing an ill-fitting padded bra and a heavy sweater. And told me that I actually need a bra with bigger cups and a bigger band than what I was already wearing. I told her there was no way, given the way my bras were fitting and she gave me a doubtful look and told me she would take a look at what I tried on. </div>
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Undeterred by her lack of enthusiasm, I forged on through the racks and pulled bras in no less than 5 different sizes. On my third bra, a different sales lady came in to check on me and I had her remeasure me just to double check that I wasn't crazy. I was correct and the original measurements I was given were off by two cup sizes and two band sizes. Lesson learned: do not let sales ladies measure you for a bra over your outfit. </div>
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I am not above societal pressures. I won't claim that this is healthy or the way things ought to be but it is the truth and I don't think there is anyone who is in contact with other human beings that can claim they are free of societal pressure. We are bombarded by messages about what we are supposed to look like. I think the ideal is something like Barbie. Or maybe Kim Kardashian. But the reality is that most women don't look like that. I certainly don't look like that. We're supposed to have a perfect hour glass figure with a tiny waist and big boobs. That's what femininity is, right? So my breasts shrinking (naturally due to weight loss) makes me less of a woman. (<--i actually="" don="" fyi="" nbsp="" p="" t="" that="" think=""><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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I'm kind of ashamed of myself for being dissatisfied with my chest. I was never happy when they were larger so one would think I would be elated, right? Well, I see two flaws in this little thought process here. Flaw #1: This is my body, I am gorgeous, and I need to accept myself cellulite, wiggly bits, shrinking boobs and all. I don't think I'm ugly. I don't under any circumstances think I am flat-chested (hahahahaha... I wore a C-cup in the fifth grade). Accepting myself and my body is a daily process. For all the messages we all receive telling us we don't measure up, it only makes sense to me that we have to remind ourselves just as much that those are lies and though we are not perfect, we are enough. Flaw #2: If my womanhood is defined by two lumps of fat and mammary tissue positioned on my chest, I am doing a great disservice to not only myself but to other women (and most specifically the millions of women who have fought, are fighting, and will fight breast cancer). </div>
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Only a colorblind person would not notice that things have gone pink for October. I sang at a breast cancer fundraiser on the first. The park in town has pink lights wrapped around the tree trunks. October 13th was supposed to be national no-bra day to raise support for breast cancer (though unless you are making a donation for the right to go braless, I don't see how this is supporting breast cancer research. Sorry if this offends you but it's true). No women in my family have ever had breast cancer (no, we get the not-so-popular cancers of the lungs and rectum) so I can't say first or second hand what it is like to go through treatment that often includes disfiguring surgery. I have heard stories, though, of women who feel like there is something wrong with them after the surgery, like the cancer took something from their soul and not just their bodies. I think these women are beautiful and strong and that their scars are a mark of their strength (I love the slogan 'fight like a girl'). So who am I to insult these brave, strong, wonderful women by being dissatisfied with my own unmarred, cancer free breasts? </div>
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So what was the point of this? I've kind of just rambled on for a couple hundred words here about my chest, body image, and breast cancer. I'll give you my main point right here: womanhood is not defined by our appearance (after all, I have seen some VERY convincing drag queens before...). Big boobs, little boobs, or almost non-existent boobs, all women's bodies are beautiful in their own way. </div>
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Do yourself a favor and stop beating yourself up for not looking like you belong on a magazine cover--most of that is photoshop anyway ;)</div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-18158740450222673762013-10-18T21:07:00.000-04:002013-10-18T21:07:14.323-04:00An Open Letter to my Students<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Disclaimer: the opinions given here are mine and mine only and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of my fellow teachers or any of my employers. This letter does not reference any particular student, parent, or staff member and any resemblance is <strike>the sign of a guilty conscience</strike> coincidental. So don't sue me/fire me/raise a fuss. </div>
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My dear students, </div>
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When I was your age, I never thought that I would one day be the one being the teacher's desk. I was going to be famous. I don't think I ever really considered what my teachers did at the end of the day, what their families were like, or how much time they spent grading papers and going to meetings on my behalf. So I honestly don't really expect you to think too much about me. I think about you a lot, though, and if given the opportunity, there are a lot of things I would love to tell you. So here we go. </div>
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<b>1. You drive me crazy. </b>We all have our bad days, including myself. Some days, however, all of us have a bad day at the same time. And some days when I'm having a bad day, you cheer me up. So it all evens out. </div>
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<b>2. You are hilarious. </b>...usually without meaning to be. The innocence of youth. Some times you tell jokes that make me laugh, sometimes it's silly little stories, and sometimes it is the way you act. It brings a smile to my face... mot of the time. </div>
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<b>3. I care about you more than you realize. </b>I want you to behave in my class and learn, certainly, but there is so much more to it than that. I care about who you are, and who you will become. I worry about you when you seem off. I want you to be successful not just in school, but in life. </div>
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<b>4. I would protect you with my life.</b> I don't need to tell you that this is a scary world. I hope to dear lord Jesus in heaven and on earth that it never comes down to it but know this: if danger starts coming down that hall, you better believe I will put myself between it and you. </div>
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<b>5. I love you, </b>sometimes because of what you do and some times in spite of what you do. As much as you drive me crazy sometimes, I love each of you in your own way. </div>
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<b>6. You are the reason I come to work each day. </b>I didn't take this job to do paperwork, grade papers, and attend meetings. I took the job because of you and my desire to help you and teach you. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" /></a></div>
Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-83597404776556737622013-09-22T22:18:00.000-04:002013-09-22T22:18:12.352-04:00Halloween is the scariest holiday of the year<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
During my craft and fabric store adventures on Friday, I also stopped by the Halloween store next to Hobby Lobby. I am always curious to see what kind of costumes are popular and see what the hot trends are this year. As usual, and honestly as I expected, the costumes aimed at adult women almost all featured mini skirts, low cut tops (more often than not a bustier), and fishnet stockings. I cannot figure out why a police officer or nurse would wear fishnet stockings but that's what they sell. As much as the need for all women's Halloween costumes to be sexy pisses me off, that was not nearly as disturbing as my trip to the children's section. </div>
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Amongst the racks of cheaply made princess dresses and the super hero costumes with the sculpted padded abs I found costumes that were far more disturbing to my sensibilities. In addition to the fluffy princess dresses and the stereotypical ghost and pirate costumes were duplicates of the "sexy" womens' Halloween costumes. </div>
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Some of you may be going, "What's the big deal?" but I hope most of you are just as appalled as I am. Now let me explain the problem. As an adult woman, I am expected to wear something like <a href="http://www.walmart.com/ip/Sheriff-Adult-Halloween-Costume/17012648" target="_blank">THIS</a> or <a href="http://www.walmart.com/ip/Meter-s-Running-Adult-Costume/14862577" target="_blank">THIS</a> in order to be "sexy" or "desirable." Notice the micro-mini skirts and the ultra tight fit. One reviewer on the sheriff costume said that even though she was petite (5'2" or so) the skirt was not long enough to cover her butt. And this is decent to wear in public? </div>
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Now let's take a look at <a href="http://www.walmart.com/ip/Referee-Child-Halloween-Costume/14912561" target="_blank">THIS</a> costume. I would guess the age of the girl in the photo to be around 9 or 10. She is dressed as a referee but certainly like no referee I have ever seen. Notice the close fit of the top and most noticeable for me: the hemline. It's not much if any long than the skirts on the sheriff or taxi costumes. Yet this costume is somehow appropriate for a 9 year old. </div>
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<a href="http://www.walmart.com/ip/Night-Wing-Devil-Teen-Costume/14860731" target="_blank">This "Night Wing" Costume</a> probably takes the cake for me though. Notice the spandex top that is printed to look like a bustier. Notice the skirt so short I would hedge my bets that it doesn't cover her butt in the back. And notice the fine print that the leggings are not included so essential you're supposed to send your preteen daughter out in her underwear. </div>
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I've blogged before about my <a href="http://www.songbirdtakesflight.com/2013/07/an-unpopular-choice.html" target="_blank">commitment to purity</a>. That commitment is deeply personal and I don't look down on people for making different decisions but do pray to sweet Lord Jesus in heaven that being sexy is not on the priority list of your average preteen. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I like to think that the most valuable part of who I am is my mind and heart, not my body and I think we should be teaching young girls (and boys for that matter) the same thing. The message that these costumes show, both the adult and children's versions, is that our bodies are the most important part of who we are and that showing as much skin as possible is how one is cute or pretty or whatever. </div>
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A lot of this is probably semi-incoherent blathering so I'll give you my main point right here: What kind of world do we live in where "sexy" is the standard for preteens? I find it completely unacceptable and I hope you do too. </div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-55789618708092457532013-09-21T11:26:00.002-04:002013-09-21T11:26:26.964-04:00Things I've been reading lately<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So one of my little secrets is my love for Young Adult and children's fiction. I just love it. I don't care if the books are too easy or beneath my level; I enjoy them so I'm going to read them. Recently, the Scholastic book fair came to our school. Being the thoughtful and supportive teacher that I am, I took this as an opportunity to support our school by buying lots of books. </div>
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I remember the joy of Book Fair time when I was in school. The shiny metal shelves of the latest in kid's literary greatness, just waiting to be bought and read. The stacks of kitten posters, the light up pens and funny erasers. It was all paradise. As an adult, I find myself ignoring the stacks of posters and the pretty pink books that I MUST HAVE BECAUSE THEY COME WITH A NECKLACE. This is to be expected as I am now an adult and the idea of a cheap star necklace that will turn my neck green is no longer appealing. The books themselves are as tantalizing as ever however. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Book and Image Found <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Divergent-Veronica-Roth/dp/0062024035/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379554828&sr=1-3&keywords=divergent" target="_blank">HERE</a></td></tr>
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Think Hunger Games. It is a dystopian world where citizens are broken down into five factions. Each person chooses his or her faction and is forever separated from the other factions. They are tested to see what group they belong in and for most it is crystal clear but for Beatrice it is not. She is Divergent. She chooses to abandon her family to join the Dauntless faction where she finds herself fighting to remain part of the group she has chosen. There is some romance woven in but the story would still stand up without it. She uncovers corruption and has to hide her true identity meanwhile fighting for what is right and learning that it is the combination of her traits that truly make her brave. This is also becoming a movie that comes out 3/21/14 for which I am excited. I need to get Book 2: Insurgent and devour that before Book 3 comes out in October. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Book and Image found <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Guitar-Notes-Mary-Amato/dp/1606841246/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379555359&sr=1-1&keywords=Guitar+Notes" target="_blank">HERE</a></td></tr>
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An unlikely friendship is formed between two teenagers passing notes back and forth in a tiny practice room they use. They are brought together through music as both try to stand up to the pressure coming from all sides. A friendship is formed, but their other friends and families don't understand. When music is involved, beauty is created. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Book and Image found <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Son-Lois-Lowry/dp/0547887205/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379587946&sr=1-1&keywords=lois+lowry+son" target="_blank">HERE</a></td></tr>
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The fourth and final installment in Lois Lowry's "The Giver" series. So good. SOOOO good. All four books in the series can stand up on their own and be understood but the four in context creates a wonderful story. Claire was once a member of the Society and gives birth to a son. He is taken from her and she will go to the ends of the earth to find him. She sacrifices nearly everything for him and in the end it is her son who must save her. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Book and Image found <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Lunar-Chronicles-Cinder-ebook/dp/B005KJJ4F8/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379775826&sr=1-1&keywords=Cinder" target="_blank">HERE</a></td></tr>
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A sci-fi cinderella story. I'm actually still reading this one but I love it so far. Cinder is a cyborg and a second class citizen. Her adoptive step mother hates her and essentially sells her to get rid of her but all is not as it seems. Cinder is the best mechanic in New Beijing, so good that even Prince Kai has heard of her skill and brings her a broken android with information that just might change Cinder's life. I can hardly wait for the ending. :) </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Book and Image found <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Entwined-ebook/dp/B004CFA9X2/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379776041&sr=1-3&keywords=Entwined" target="_blank">HERE</a></td></tr>
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Azalea and her sisters love to dance more than just about anything else but when their mother dies on Christmas giving birth to their twelfth sister Lily, they are thrust into the world of mourning: no color, no light, no music, and especially no dancing. Her father the king does not understand them and treats Azalea like a child. She rebels, finding a hidden place in the castle guarded by a mysterious man called the Keeper where she and her sisters can go to dance at night. As the year of mourning draws to a close, she may find that the keeper's price is too high. Yet, through the love of her family and friends and Azalea's own stubbornness he will be defeated. I don't want to give away all the plot twists so I will leave it at that. </div>
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I love reading. I did buy other books when I bought these and I'll probably post about them another time. If you want to borrow these, let me know. I'll give you the hook up.</div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-27868294553682124122013-09-13T21:44:00.002-04:002013-09-13T21:44:35.009-04:00Gotta Get Down on Friday...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
...Everybody's looking forward to the weekend. Partying? Not so much. Tonight, I made a very exciting trip to Walmart to hit redbox and get hagan daas. I watched Star Trek and ate sorbet and have soaked in the tub with a glass of Niagra and my book. Mmmmm.... I feel so good right now. </div>
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Tomorrow, I am going to a vocal workshop in Lewes. I haven't done much with my voice lately so this is a nice change. I hope to ask about how to preserve my voice when I find myself talking and shouting so much in my life as a teacher. I was so exhausted, vocally and physically, on Tuesday night and I can't keep on like that. Maybe if the kids behaved themselves I wouldn't have to yell? Somehow I don't think this is a good long term plan...</div>
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After I return from this workshop, Mom and I are going to go shopping at Goodwill. With the whole I'm-losing-weight thing, I almost perpetually need new clothing. On Sunday I realized my leggings were too big. As in sagging in the butt too big. Enter today when I decided to wear tights with my skirt. They were a new pair that I bought in the spring. When I first put them on, all was fine but as the day drew on, I kept having to yank them up as they were sagging around the knees. Not a look I was going for. </div>
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I am at the point where people are suddenly realizing that I have, in fact, lost a lot of weight. I am down two sizes in pants and three in dresses (well, depending on the cut. I still have huge hips). I used to use my hips as shelves for carrying things. I can still do that but not as easily. The other day I was carrying a cardboard box on my hip and had to stop every 30 seconds to adjust because it was digging into my hip bone. Ouch. I haven't had that problem before. Don't get me wrong--I still have more padding than I would like but I am now wearing smaller clothes than I wore in high school, a very good feeling. </div>
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It was a rough week at work for a lot of different reasons I won't get into here. Frustrating as it has been, the people that I work with are amazing and I believe that we are all committed to making a positive impact on these kids' lives. I am so thankful for the friends that I have made in work, both last year and this year. </div>
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Sunday is church day. I am digging my new Sunday school class and it is also a youth luncheon Sunday, which I will be helping with because apparently 8 hours a day five days a week is not enough time with kids for me. Middle school kids have wormed their way into my heart. Apparently this is the age group of my heart. Go figure. </div>
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After church, I need to make a run down to Salisbury to pick up a birthday gift for my brother. And also starbucks. and possibly Old Navy. oh, and Michaels. I haven't been to Michael's in FOREVER. ...This is starting to sound expensive. Probably not the best since I was a week to wait before I get a real paycheck... One way or another, I will figure it out. </div>
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Hopefully I'll get to do some sewing this weekend. I've knocked out a new garment each weekend and it would be a shame to break the streak... I'm sure there is something in my stash waiting to become gorgeous. :) </div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-67277307988177651982013-09-07T19:11:00.000-04:002013-09-07T19:11:32.828-04:00Entry in which I make fun of myself<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So funny story. I worked very hard to try to remember all the French I know and post signage in the room in French. I made verb conjugation charts and tried very hard to remember basic classroom commands. I didn't fully trust myself to remember it all so I looked a lot of it up to double check. Unfortunately, despite those precautions, I seem to have made some mistakes. The teacher I will be working with pointed a few of these out. Another one occurred to me after she left. </div>
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On the door to my room, I have a sign that says "Chambre 107, Mademoiselle Wasson, Classe francaise." This is one I didn't look up. I knew "chambre" is a word for room. It was the sign about the bathroom that made me realize me error. See, in France, and in a lot of Europe in fact, they have split bathrooms that would have the toilet in one room and the shower and sink in another. So I was thinking about how the toilet room is called "la toilette" or "le W.C." and how the shower room is called "la salle de bains" which literally means room of baths. <u>Room</u> of baths. Salle=room. Crap. But I know chambre means room. Some kind of room anyway. So what does chambre mean? </div>
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La chambre can mean a few different things. It is an antiquated term for room in general, but it usually means "chambers" as in court chambers or the like... or it means bedroom. Or hotel room. So welcome to bedroom 107. I'll need to make a new sign now. It's not *technically* incorrect but "salle de classe 107" certainly has better implications. </div>
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In other news, two weeks down. Apparently I rock as a facilitator. But we all know that I'm awesome anyway. This year's staff is awesome. And I'm here permanently which is like the best thing ever. Because I'm not subbing and I have my own classroom. </div>
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Outside of school, I am sewing whenever possible. In fact, I am getting ready to go turn a pile of waiting fabric into a new dress. And reading. Lots of reading. Which is why I haven't been blogging. Oh well. Enjoy this post and maybe I'll post something else... at some point. :)</div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-76175266239484914142013-08-30T11:27:00.000-04:002013-08-30T11:27:17.427-04:00Hello grown up job!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I have determined that I am somehow becoming old at 23. Because the most exciting thing in my life right now is that I have a job that is SALARIED and has BENEFITS like VISION INSURANCE and a PENSION!!! And I have to make the difficult decision as to whether or not to join the union. What I am most excited for, honest to goodness, is to not be subbing any longer. Yes. I've never been *normal* so I suppose my excitement over the mundane is to be expected. </div>
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One other wonderful, wonderful part of this job is connecting with nerds like myself. I am at the school where I was a long term sub last year so I know a lot of the people I am working with and know the music nerds. I kind of miss being a music teacher so I have an excuse to pose questions like "Who was the bigger jerk: Shoenberg or Wagner?" and "Handel: Do we call him a German, English, or Italian composer?" and "Drumline: Worst thing to ever happen to marching bands, even after almost 11(!?) years?" I still get to have conversations like that at times, but instead of teaching music... <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">J'enseigne le français (I teach French). </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">The nerdy conversations do not stop though. Oh far from. Because, madams et monsiers, I have met fellow Doctor Who nerds. WHOVIANS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I honestly can't remember if I have blogged about my obsession with Doctor Who but I love it. The Doctor is my dream man. I'm waiting for the TARDIS to be outside my window to take me off to see the universe, the big scary universe. Yesterday, I had what was possibly the nerdiest conversation ever with another teacher in the main office. We were discussing theories about one of the Doctor's companions and the upcoming season and all kinds of other theories about the show. She and her husband are both Whovians, as is one of the teachers I spent a lot of time with last year. The next casual day, I fully intend to wear one of my Who tee shirts so I can smoke out any other Whovians. And we will rule the school. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Okay, nerd rant done. Peace!</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" /></a></div>
Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-74429767345950394122013-08-19T08:57:00.001-04:002013-08-19T08:57:19.242-04:00The best advice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I have been given a lot of advice through the years. Some of it I have followed and some of it I haven't. There are nuggets of wisdom I wish I hadn't ignored and other little pieces of "sage advice" I wish I had never listened to. That being said, I think the most important thing that has been instilled in me is that you should dedicate your time and "play" money to things that you love. I'm not saying that you can ignore your responsibilities and financial obligations in favor of spending all your time and money on your hobbies, to be certain, but life is too short to do things you hate just because you think you're supposed to do them. So what kind of things do I love? </div>
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Well, I love to sing. So music takes up a lot of my free time. I love to create. I have spent a lot of time and money on sewing and crafting. I also love spending time with friends and going on adventures. Case in point: this weekend I went to the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire with a group of friends and had an absolute BLAST. So much fun. I am one of THOSE people at the faire. The ones in costume who run around with a lot of other people in costume. When my friend Matt is there in his full knight get up, it gets even more awesome because half of the people there are convinced that with a band of costumed groupies as large as ours, we have to be part of the staff, right? If only they knew... </div>
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I was AWOL for most of last week because when I wasn't working, I was working on costume stuff for myself, Jackie, and Aaron so we could be the most awesomely awesome people there. Seriously. We rocked it. </div>
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That being said, I learned something important at the Faire: my well made, steel boned bodice is not made for someone who is 5'2". How do I know this? Those steel bones that make me look oh-so-svelte in that image were stabbing me in the arm pit all flipping day and cut off the circulation to my arms at one point. I must have worn it pulled farther down over my hips last time because Saturday I thought I was going to have blisters in my armpits. Which is more than you wanted to know. But I looked awesome. So my next major-major sewing project will likely be a custom corset scaled properly for someone of my height. And also reversible. </div>
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Jackie and I capped off our journey to the past by staying over in a hotel in King of Prussia with the LOUDEST FLIPPING AIR CONDITIONER ON THE PLANET. It was like a truck driving through our room every half an hour, waking us both up. Oh well. Breakfast, while delicious, was also populated by way too many children at the waffle maker, and consumed on a sticky table after a couple stole the table I had reserved by placing my coffee on it. Apparently this was ineffectual. Oh well. </div>
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The shopping senses of most women were probably activated by the "King of Prussia" mention there. Yes, the same place as the mall. Yes, we went shopping. I learned that in the year since I have been to KOP, both the H&M and the Forever21 have greatly expanded. I also learned that my friend Aaron has killer fashion sense. It was scary have a straight man go "yes, that would look great" and "no, you'll look really old in that. Don't do it" and be right. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Like the dress <a href="http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=plus&Category=faith_dresses&ProductID=2020574330&VariantID=" target="_blank">HERE</a>. I tried one on very similar. Aaron said "No. That will make you look like a middle aged soccer mom. Don't do it." ...To say how I looked in that dress would be an insult to all soccer moms out there. It was bad. He was also right about a top I wasn't going to give the time of day. It looked fantastic on me. And he also told me flowers in my hair are a good look for me. </div>
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Also involved in the weekend festivities was a trip to Godiva (YUM) and to IKEA where adventures were had. I was exhausted upon arriving home last night. Too much excitement in one day makes Caitlin a tired girl. That being said, I wouldn't trade any of it, nor would I do a single thing differently (other than stay in a hotel that didn't have an extremely loud AC). </div>
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This week marks the start of my new job which is both exciting and terrifying. So sorry if I disappear again. I promise, it's because I'm doing really cool stuff.</div>
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Blessings!</div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-82015649879905190712013-08-04T10:26:00.000-04:002013-08-04T10:26:10.033-04:00Puppy Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
A few months ago, I wrote a post <a href="http://www.songbirdtakesflight.com/2013/04/opera-my-lifes-calling-and-my-geriatric.html" target="_blank">about my dog</a>. I love that little dog like he were family because, quite honestly, he is part of our family. Or more accurately I should say was. Last Wednesday, we had Fonzie put to sleep. </div>
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He was fourteen years old and has been happy and active for most of his life. He has had terrible pooping problems though and when I took him to the vet earlier in the summer, we learned that he had a mass on his prostate that was cutting off his bowel and causing all of his pooping issues. It seemed really dire at first, and in a lot of ways it was but he still seemed happy, though perhaps a little more stinky. </div>
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He was all our dog, my parent's, mine, and my brother's. We all loved him and none of us were ready to let go. So as long as he was happy, we were happy with cleaning up after him. But when he stopped eating and seemed to be lethargic and in physical pain, we knew. Fonzie has always been a voracious eater, and while he has gotten pickier with age, when offer food he loves like cooked chicken or bacon or french fries, he would consume them as eagerly as ever. Until this weekend when he stopped eating and threw up the very little he did manage to eat. Not a good sign. </div>
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We took him to the vet, hoping for some kind of alternative but knowing that was unlikely. I think the vet knew as well, almost as soon as he saw Fonzie, who normally does his level best to get as far away from the vet as possible sitting docilely on a blanket atop the exam table. After a time to say good bye to the little dog we loved so much, the vet gave him a shot and he breathed his last. </div>
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I've been trying for more than a week to write this post, to explain what losing this dog has meant to me. When a human dies, you write a list of their accomplishments and who they are leaving behind. But what does a dog accomplish in his lifetime? He didn't rescue people from burning buildings or bark at an intruder to wake us up. He was just our family pet, and his job was to love us, which he did faithfully to his last. </div>
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In his younger years, Fonzie was a great source of entertainment. When he was excited, he would run around the first floor of the house, ears flapping and nails skittering, only to stop on a dime in front of you. If you moved, he'd turn around and run the opposite direction. This could go on for several minutes before Fonzie would either allow you to pet him or would decide he was tired of it and hop up on the couch. </div>
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One of Fonzie's favorite toys was a good ol' tennis ball, though perhaps his game wasn't the most traditional. He would bid you to throw the ball and then proceed to knock it under the sofa or other piece of furniture where he couldn't reach it on his own. Then he would cry until you got it and threw it again, at which point he would repeat the whole process until either he or the human was tired of it. </div>
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He loved to take walks... in theory. Once you got more than about 100 yards from home, suddenly he had to rethink the whole idea. He was also not a big fan of being in the car, unless we were going to the cottage. Fonzie LOVED the cottage. He would get super excited as soon as he realized we were driving into the neighborhood. </div>
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Fonzie loved all of us. In recent years, He has done the rounds between all of our beds at night, starting with my parents and visiting myself and my brother throughout the night. I think he didn't want any of us to feel lonely. When any of us were sick, Fonzie was always there playing nurse, including and especially when Mom has been sick and recovering from chemo. </div>
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There are a thousand little ways he was loved us and we have loved him. I would share all of them but I think that would take a novel. I miss my little doggie and he will always be a sweet memory and a part of my life. </div>
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Love and Peace, </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" /></a></div>
Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-82272111884902397852013-08-02T15:00:00.000-04:002013-08-02T15:00:00.771-04:00Fun Facts Fridays: Ten Celebrities I Have Crush On<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And Channing Tatum is NOT on my list. Seriously. I am possibly the only woman on the planet who feels that way. I swear I am straight though. Maybe you'll agree when you see the list. </div>
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1. Jonathan Rhys Myers </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.nndb.com/people/990/000101687/jonathan-rhys-meyers-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://www.nndb.com/people/990/000101687/jonathan-rhys-meyers-1.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.nndb.com/people/990/000101687/">http://www.nndb.com/people/990/000101687/</a></td></tr>
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Yum. Total Eye candy. Contrary to popular belief, my love does not stem from the Tudors. No, I found him delicious in August Rush. I hear he is a jerk in real life though. So I will look from afar. </div>
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2. Patrick Dempsey</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images1.fanpop.com/images/photos/2300000/New-Versace-Ad-X-patrick-dempsey-2363286-684-839.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images1.fanpop.com/images/photos/2300000/New-Versace-Ad-X-patrick-dempsey-2363286-684-839.jpg" width="260" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/patrick-dempsey/images/2363286/title/new-versace-ad-x-photo">http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/patrick-dempsey/images/2363286/title/new-versace-ad-x-photo</a></td></tr>
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I had a really hard time picking a photo. They were all so yummy. So I chose the intense gaze of this Versace ad. He seems like he would be a really nice, romantic guy in real life. And the pictures of him with his kids are adorable. </div>
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3. Liam Hemsworth</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://thehollywoodtalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Liam-Hemsworth-Lions-Gate2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://thehollywoodtalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Liam-Hemsworth-Lions-Gate2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://thehollywoodtalk.com/liam-hemsworth-summary/">http://thehollywoodtalk.com/liam-hemsworth-summary/</a></td></tr>
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Oh Liam. Why are you with Miley when you could be with me? You are delicious and you seemed really sweet in the Last Song. And I also have a lot of trouble separating you from your role as Gale. </div>
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4. Jonathan and Drew Scott</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.knoxville.com/media/img/photos/2012/11/20/136602_t588.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://media.knoxville.com/media/img/photos/2012/11/20/136602_t588.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.knoxville.com/news/2012/nov/20/terry-morrow-hgtv-grants-jonathan-and-drew-scott/">http://www.knoxville.com/news/2012/nov/20/terry-morrow-hgtv-grants-jonathan-and-drew-scott/</a></td></tr>
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I know this is cheating but they are identical twins. And super good looking. And always seem so nice on TV. And they do real estate investing and design houses. Can you imagine anything better? </div>
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5. Gerard Butler</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://riduspic.blogspot.com/2011/09/gerard-butler-jpg.html">http://riduspic.blogspot.com/2011/09/gerard-butler-jpg.html</a></td></tr>
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Look at those eyes. LOOK AT THEM!!!! So blue. And don't forget about those Abs in 300. Or, for the musician in me, his voice in Phantom of the Opera. I even like him in the Ugly Truth. Yes.</div>
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6. Ryan Gosling</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.myfilmviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/ryan-gosling-beard-normal1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.myfilmviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/ryan-gosling-beard-normal1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.myfilmviews.com/2012/09/28/the-many-faces-of-ryan-gosling/">http://www.myfilmviews.com/2012/09/28/the-many-faces-of-ryan-gosling/</a></td></tr>
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I feel like I would hardly be a woman if I didn't like Ryan Gosling. I mean for gosh sakes, just watch the Notebook. He probably isn't as sweet and sensitive in real life as he comes across on the screen and in the paparazzi photographs but still. I can at least admire from afar. </div>
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7. David Tennant</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01381/davidTennant_1381584c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01381/davidTennant_1381584c.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/doctor-who/5129593/David-Tennant-cried-when-he-learnt-of-his-death-as-Dr-Who.html">http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/doctor-who/5129593/David-Tennant-cried-when-he-learnt-of-his-death-as-Dr-Who.html</a></td></tr>
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Yum. David will always be my favorite doctor. In fact, I'm waiting to hear the TARDIS on my front lawn and I am fully convinced that David will open the door and invite me to explore the universe with him. Aside from that, David Tennant seems like a nice guy. He likes to interact with his young fans. Oh, and he also seems a little crazy/dorky just like me. </div>
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8. Benedict Cumberbatch</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn.3news.co.nz/3news/AM/2012/11/2/275179/BenedictCumberbatch_wenn_1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://cdn.3news.co.nz/3news/AM/2012/11/2/275179/BenedictCumberbatch_wenn_1200.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.3news.co.nz/Benedict-Cumberbatch-lends-voice-to-Friendly-Fires-album/tabid/418/articleID/275179/Default.aspx">http://www.3news.co.nz/Benedict-Cumberbatch-lends-voice-to-Friendly-Fires-album/tabid/418/articleID/275179/Default.aspx</a></td></tr>
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I think I could listen to his voice all day. And also stare into his eyes. And run my fingers through his hair. But mostly I think I just want to stare at him. </div>
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9. David Boreanaz</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.wallsave.com/wallpapers/1024x768/star-of-david/229567/star-of-david-free-boreanaz-and-229567.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://www.wallsave.com/wallpapers/1024x768/star-of-david/229567/star-of-david-free-boreanaz-and-229567.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.smscs.com/photo/david_boreanaz_desktop_wallpapers.html">http://www.smscs.com/photo/david_boreanaz_desktop_wallpapers.html</a></td></tr>
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I can't decide which role I like him better in: Angel or Agent Booth. Probably Booth (from Bones in case you were wondering). He seems like a big strong protector type. </div>
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10. Matthew McFayden</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fv7ZpbQqXis/Tz1_q0SmG6I/AAAAAAAAB2M/6jpT_-HLklY/s400/Elizabeth-Bennet-and-Mr-Darcy-played-by-Keira-Knightley-and-Matthew-Macfadyen-in-Pride-and-Prejudice-2005-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="163" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fv7ZpbQqXis/Tz1_q0SmG6I/AAAAAAAAB2M/6jpT_-HLklY/s320/Elizabeth-Bennet-and-Mr-Darcy-played-by-Keira-Knightley-and-Matthew-Macfadyen-in-Pride-and-Prejudice-2005-2.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://petiemariespost.blogspot.com/2012/02/top-ten-movie-couples-couple-4.html">http://petiemariespost.blogspot.com/2012/02/top-ten-movie-couples-couple-4.html</a></td></tr>
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Oprah once made a joke that she could listen to Sean Connery read the phone book. I could DEFINITELY listen to Matthew McFayden read the phone book. And those eyes. Looking over the list, I seem to have a thing for dark haired guys with pretty eyes. He is definitely no exception. </div>
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So this is an extremely superficial list, in case you didn't notice. Somehow I doubt any of these men are my soul mate (the majority are married already) but I can still look from afar, right? I hope you enjoyed the eye candy. 'Til next time. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" /></a></div>
Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-7632471006647575452013-07-26T15:00:00.000-04:002013-07-26T15:00:02.593-04:00Fun Facts Fridays: Five Things I Use Every Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Not the most entertaining list ever but here you are. These things float around in my purse or in my bed room or wherever. I use them. </div>
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1. Cell phone</div>
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Also known as my primary alarm clock and communication device. I do not have a smart phone because I am not quite that cool. </div>
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2. iPod touch</div>
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My back up alarm because it does in fact take two alarms to get me out of bed in the morning. Plus several whacks of the snooze button. I use the camera regularly, play a lot of games on it, and take advantage of the calendar and a number of apps, including audible to listen to books in the car on my hour commute. Basically, it's my iPhone senza contract. And cell phone service. But I love it. </div>
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3. Hair Tie</div>
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My default hair style is a pony tail. Especially at night because as I mentioned last week, I can't stand to be hot and sweaty and my hair sticking to my neck and face certainly does that to me. </div>
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4. Kindl</div>
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I do not know what I did before I had this device. I adore it. I never have to worry about what to read if I finish my book while I'm out doing something. </div>
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5. Flowerbomb by Viktor and Rolf</div>
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My awesome smelling but way too expensive perfume. It's addictive. I have a strong sense of smell so I definitely like having perfume. Especially flowery ones. </div>
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Not my most entertaining post by far but there you have it. I don't know what any of this says about me but take it as you will. 'Til next time, </div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-5475063979628438262013-07-25T18:06:00.002-04:002013-07-25T18:06:45.398-04:00A preview<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So there are probably other things I could blog about. I'm kind of feeling lay though so I'm going to cheat. Back in November, I participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and actually finished a book. It still needs serious editing. Which I will do... Eventually. You know. When I have time. But anyway, I'm just going to post the prologue here for the general population to read. So there you have it. I hope you enjoy.</div>
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<i> I suppose there are
worse things to be defined by in life than your incredible luck, and
I imagine there are plenty of people who would trade their own luck
for my incredibly stupid but also incredibly undeniable luck. The
problem for me, though, was my luck was the only thing I seemed to be
defined by.
</i></div>
<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0.15in;">
<i> In most things in
life, I was fairly mediocre. When I was in high school, I was a good
student and did the honors classes and whatnot but I was never
particularly good at any given subject, nor did I like any subject
over another. I was an A and B student in every subject. I wasn't
especially good at art or music or dancing or cooking. I had no
talents to speak of.
</i></div>
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<i> From the time I was
three up until I graduated from high school, I had done gymnastics.
I was far too tall to ever be great at it but I worked hard and I was
consistent, making me an asset to my club team, even if I was never
going to go to the Olympics or get a college scholarship from it. At
five-six when I was in high school, I had towered over more or less
every other gymnast I had ever met. I also, like most girls (but not
most gymnasts) went through puberty, though a bit later than normal.
As a result, I was the strange tall gymnasts who actually had a full
chest and hips to match the ripped arms and huge shoulders I had from
throwing myself through the air and catching a stationary bar. As I
said, I was okay. I wasn't a superior athlete naturally, I just
worked hard.
</i></div>
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<i> Having no particular
talent or love of any particular subject, college became quite the
dilemma. With no better ideas going through my head, I had gone to
the closest state university and majored in business since I figured
that would be useful no matter what I wound up doing. Part of me had
also been hoping I would find something I really liked in the course
of taking my electives. Again, I did fairly well in my coursework,
well enough to graduate cum laude but not so well that I thought I
wanted to do my MBA.
</i></div>
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<i> Following my
graduation from college, I simply wasn't sure what to do with my
life. I thought God was playing some sort of sick trick on my life
as my high school friends pursued their dreams, some finding their
dream life, and others falling flat and finding a new dream. My
childhood best friend, Alba (yes, she was named after the place
Napoleon ran off to), was off at vet school, well on her way to
becoming an Equine vet, like she had dreamed of. Her longtime
boyfriend Brett was working as a police officer and was planning to
propose to Alba soon.
</i></div>
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<i> I really felt like a
loser compared to my friends and their perfectly laid out lives, with
their plans all turning out exactly as they had hoped. I had made no
plans so I supposed there was no room for me me to be disappointed
that my life wasn't going according to plan, yet somehow their was an
emptiness. I was twenty-four and working as a barista at a coffee
shop. I was a good barista, in that I made the drinks properly and
was friendly with all of the customers, even when all I felt like was
being grouchy. I was not one of those artistic baristas who made
insane art with cappucino foam. I liked my boss and I liked the
people I worked with. In fact, I liked my coworker Lucas a little
too much...
</i></div>
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<i> I digress, however.
</i></div>
<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0.15in;">
<i> The point of this
story is not how lame my life was in those murky first post-college
years. The point is how my life changed from that point, how I grew
out of being a mediocre, un-talented young adult and into the person
I was always supposed to be.
</i></div>
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<i> Remember how I said my
only defining characteristic was luck? If you were as lucky as I am,
you might have been defined by it as well. I was lucky in a strange
sense that required no talent or preparation or skill at all.
</i></div>
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<i> It all started when I
was five years old and the library was having a raffle for one of the
very expensive American girl dolls. I was not yet old enough to
appreciate the price of such a doll so my parents had thus far
refused to buy me one, saving it for a gift when I was older and
wouldn't drag it around by the hair and play with it in the mud, like
I was apt to do with my Barbies. My parents couldn't say no to
letting me buy a raffle ticket to benefit the children's division of
the library, however, especially given that there was a one in 10,000
chance I would actually win the overpriced doll.
</i></div>
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<i> Imagine their surprise
when we got a call from the librarian the day after the drawing,
telling us to come to library to have my picture taken with my pretty
new American Girl doll. At this point, there was nothing to cause
anyone, including my five-year-old self, any alarm. The odds had
just come out in my favor that one time, it seemed.
</i></div>
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<i> My parents, as it
turns out, should not have been worried about the level of care I
would administer to the doll. I treated her as if she were made of
the fragilest glass and gave her a place of honor in my doll cradle,
shoving all the other pretty dolls to the floor so she would be warm
and safe under the softest pink blanket I had.</i></div>
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<i> At Christmas time that
same year, the Lion's club was raffling off a bicycle to benefit the
Toys for Tots campaign. I dearly wanted that purple bicycle with its
shiny pink streamers and the polished white training wheels. My
parents let me spend my tiny allowance on a two dollar raffle ticket,
reminding me that winning the doll giveaway was a once in a lifetime
thing so there was virtually no chance I would actually win the bike.
</i></div>
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<i> The giveaway for the
bike was held at the annual town Christmas parade after party in the
fire hall. I remember I was wearing my favorite pink hat and
drinking a hot chocolate with marshmallows. I had been inspecting
the various plates of cookies when my Dad gently pulled me by the
shoulders to come over to watch the drawing.
</i></div>
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<i> I remember very
distinctly that the volunteer fire chief, a buddy of my dad's from
work, smiled as he reached into the big basket full of tickets. As
he dug through the names, he told the crowd that five thousand
tickets had been sold. As he pulled a name out and opened his lips
to read it to the crowd, I took a big drink of my hot chocolate.
</i></div>
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<i> “Lucille Harris,”
he called.
</i></div>
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<i> I choked on my hot
chocolate and Dad had to thump me quite hard on the back as I
coughed.
</i></div>
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<i> “Will lucky Lucy
come to the stage to get her prize!” the fire chief called.
</i></div>
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<i> As I was still
recovering from choking, my Dad picked me up by the armpits and
deposited me on the small stage to get my new purple bicycle. I
beamed, despite the hot chocolate dripping from my pink fleece
jacket. The stain, no matter how many times Mom washed the jacket,
never did come out. Nor did the nickname “Lucky Lucy” ever leave
me.
</i></div>
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<i> After I won the
bicycle, my parents became concerned that my five-year-old brain
would not be able to understand how unusual it was that I had won two
contests, right in a row. They needn't have worried because even at
that young age I had concluded that obviously I had run out of luck
by now.
</i></div>
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<i> A few months later,
when my elementary school decided to raffle off a memorial day
vacation to one of the kids who participated in the read-at-home
program, I didn't think much of it. I was automatically entered
because my parents had faithfully filled out the logs every night
when they read me a bedtime story.
</i></div>
<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0.15in;">
<i> In my six year old
way, I was fully flabbergasted when my name was called and I was
presented with a packet of information to give to my parents about
the vacation we would be taking in a few weeks.
</i></div>
<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0.15in;">
<i> I think it was at that
point that both I am my parents started to suspect there was
something to my luck than just chance. When we were on that
vacation, my parents decided to test my seeming luck and had me sign
my name on a giveaway for a kite at the toyshop on the boardwalk. Lo
and behold, I won the pretty rainbow kite and all of us, even me, the
small child, understood that I was lucky.
</i></div>
<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0.15in;">
<i> My parents raised me
in the church so with a lot of prayer, they came to the conclusion
that it was a blessing from God, if a bizarre one. Incredible luck
was a gift that was to be cherished, and not to be used without at
least some discretion. I did not enter contests for the sake of
winning things I didn't need or want but there were still many things
I had won through the years. My family hardly ever paid for a
vacation. In college, I won lots of book store gift cards and hardly
ever had to pay for my textbooks. I had won free gas, cash prizes,
gift cards, and all kinds of stuff, ranging from boxes of cereal and
free hair products to a full kitchen makeover for my parents. By the
time I had reached my 24<sup>th</sup> year, I hardly ever entered
contests because a lot of the giveaways were stupid and I honestly
did not have enough vacation time to go on every stinking cruise and
Disney vacation they gave away. Blog giveaways were great though. I
had won a kitchen aid mixer and a electronic cutting machine in the
same week.
</i></div>
<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0.15in;">
<i> My luck had not solved
every problem in my life. My dumb luck had not saved my parents when
I was in just a sophomore in college. Luck had not kept me from
feeling alone in the world or kept me from crying when I went through
my mother's things in preparation to sell their house to fund the
rest of my college education. Luck had provided me with a lot of
things in my life but it had not made my life perfect by any means.
</i></div>
<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0.15in;">
<i> Luck had not found me
a husband or even a serious boyfriend. I had dates to major dances
during high school, but other than that I hadn't dated at all in high
school. In college I had dated a few guys but nothing long term or
very serious. I had a suspicion that height had something to do with
it. Unlike most girls who stopped growing by fourteen, I continued
to grow until my sophomore year of college. I think sheer force of
will in gymnastics had kept me from growing beyond my five-six in
high school but I shot up to five-ten in college. Combine that
height with my favored high heels and I was as tall or taller than a
lot of men.
</i></div>
<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0.15in;">
<i> When I was 24, I
thought the direction of my life was set. I thought that the only
defining characteristic of my life would always be my luck and never
anything I enjoyed or was good at. In September, the thought that my
whole life would be defined by my luck was further cemented in my
mind. Everything changed and yet nothing had changed. I got up in
the morning and picked up the paper. I nearly choked on my coffee.
The headline blared at me.
</i></div>
<div lang="en-US" style="margin-bottom: 0.15in;">
<i><br />LUCKY LUCY WINS BIG:
LOCAL BARISTA WINS $500 MILLION JACKPOT</i></div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-17024713991998568382013-07-20T22:23:00.000-04:002013-07-20T22:23:03.754-04:00Fun Facts Fridays: Day late, and a dollar short<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
You might notice that that it is Saturday evening. And this post title contains the word Friday. Um... oops? I got home late(ish) last night and completely forgot. Normally I produce a top ten list but I'm not feeling especially creative tonight. So I'm just going to give you ten random facts about me. WHich you may or may not appreciate. Whatever. Read it and weep. </div>
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1. I absolutely love reading children's/young adult fiction. Right now I'm re-reading the Ember series which is a post-apocalyptic series with four books. In the first, we meet the people of the City of Ember, a city that is dying. The city was built underground to preserve humankind but they weren't supposed to stay as long as they did--the instructions to leave and knowledge of the outside world were lost. Lina and Doon discover the way out of the City. In book two, the whole city makes it above ground and encounters a group of people called the Sparks. The two groups struggle to work together for survival. Book three is a semi-related prequel called The Prophet of Yonwood, and Book four Is called Diamond in the Darkhold. I actually hadn't read this one before but it's good so far. </div>
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2. I watch a lot of guilty pleasure reality TV. Like Breaking Amish. The only one I simply cannot abide is Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I just can't do it. I don't really like Big Brother either. But House Hunters? Ooh yeah. Tabitha's Salon Take Over? Give me more of that! </div>
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3. Recently, Netflix took down several of the seasons of Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit and I almost cried when I found out. I LOVE that show and I like being able to watch it whenever I want. They got rid of the early seasons! *whine*</div>
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4. I have a piano that I inherited by banging on it at my grandmother's house when I was very young. I would insist that all my family come hear me "play." I was earmarked as a musician from a very young age. </div>
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5. I cannot STAND being overly warm. If I'm sweaty, I feel like the grossest person ever. In particular, if I wake up sweaty I am super unhappy. If I have time for another shower, I take one. But as I normally shower at night and therefore don't leave that extra time in the morning for a shower. </div>
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6. I think that leggings should never be worn as pants. Period. I don't care if you have thighs the size of toothpicks. Put on actual pants. </div>
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7. I am super excited for Catching Fire to come out in November. I love the books. My friends talked me into reading the series by friends right around when the movie came out and I have been an addict ever since. </div>
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8. I am an introvert. I love talking to people but in order to stay sane, I seriously need alone time. If I do not get enough alone time I feel like punching people in the throat. </div>
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9. I love crafting and dream of being a "famous" craft blogger but I doubt I ever will be. Why? Taking enough pictures for a tutorial takes the fun out of it for me. I like doing things and creating things, not really thinking about the process and how I will explain it. </div>
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10. I've written a novel. An inspirational romance novel--aka a cheesy Christian romance novel. I've mentioned it before but it bears repeating. It needs revising and editing and polishing and all of that but maybe some day you will see a book by me on the shelves. :)</div>
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Til next time, folks!</div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-5558339185174595992013-07-18T18:47:00.000-04:002013-07-18T18:47:44.036-04:00Finish the sentence with Jake and Holly & life updates<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I seriously need to see the doctor about my depression/anxiety and insomnia. Why? Right now the only way for me to sleep through the night is by taking some benadryl before bed (which is the active ingredient in Tylenol PM and most OTC sleep aids, btw). Apparently the other night it was a little too effective because I have absolutely no recollection of my alarm going off until I looked at my cell phone and saw that it was 6:15. My alarm starts going off at 5:45. So I must've hit it six times without having any recollection of the event. Um... yeah. </div>
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I have just over a month until I start my new job. I finally turned in my HR paperwork on my day off so I guess that *actually* makes it official. There are about 500 things I will need to do between now and then but hey, they'll get done. At some point. I hope. </div>
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And on to the reason most of those reading this wound up at my neck of the woods...</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>1. If I had one extra hour in the day...</b> I would sleep. Or so I tell myself. In all likelihood, that extra hour would wind up being dedicated to facebook and reading blogs. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>2. I wish my name...</b> was not so freaking common! My parents thought they were being really original with the name Caitlin... only for it to be a top ten name for the next sixteen or so years. What would I choose for myself? Hmmm... Harmony. or something really strange like Bunny Starmuffins. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>3. I think anything chevron is...</b> cute. But also way over done. I like chevron but part of me can't wait for it to be over as a trend.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>4. My last nightmare... </b>was about work. I have nightmares about work almost every night. I know I'm lame. Feel free to psychoanalyze me. No, seriously. Diagnose my craziness and send me to the loony bin. Maybe I'll finally sleep through the night. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>5. Sometimes...</b> I fantasize about eating everything I want again. And then I remember that I gain weight by imagining that I ate ice cream. And I already took in/gave away all of my fat pants so that plan is out. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>6. My last meal on earth would be...</b> lobster, macaroni and cheese, bread with lots of butter, and lots of ice cream. BRING ON THE CARBS AND FAT!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>7. I would much rather be</b> <u>smart</u> <b>than</b> <u>pretty</u>. I happen to be both but I think my brain serves me a lot better. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>8. Mayonnaise...</b> is a wonderful condiment. And also a fantastic hair conditioner. Just don't leave it out in the sun. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>9. 10 years ago, I didn't think...</b> I would be anything like my parents. Granted, I was thirteen and when you are thirteen, being like your nice, reasonably successful parents is the last thing you want in the world. About that... Now I am quite happy to be compared to my mother who is a fantastic lady. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>10. Selfishly...</b> I hope I win the lottery. But I think everyone thinks that so hmm. Selfishly I would really like my family to disappear for one day a week and let me have the house to myself so I can do my laundry, watch endless movies without interruption and crank the AC so the temp inside is below 70. Sounds like heaven. And also sounds impossible. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;"><b>11. My favorite show on TV right now...</b> is not Glee. Or any reality TV show. In fact, I watch mostly reruns of all shows on Netflix. So I'll go with NCIS since that one actually airs on TV and I don't deeply resent recent casting changes (like I do with Law and Order: SVU). </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><b style="font-family: Copse; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">12. And, George Zimmerman...</b><span style="font-family: Copse; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"> is not a police officer like half of the people on the internet seem to think. He was a neighborhood watchman. I would also say he probably belongs in jail, but I'm not sure he should've been charged with murder II... Probably manslaughter I. To be fair, with the string of break ins in the neighborhood, I probably would've been suspicious of someone I didn't know walking around the neighborhood as well, but I would not have pulled out a gun and shot them. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Copse; font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">'Til next time, folks.</span></span><br />
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-75399229614123094102013-07-15T22:44:00.002-04:002013-07-15T22:44:29.753-04:00An unpopular choice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
For those of you who missed the memo, I am a strong, faithful follower of Christ. While far from perfect, I seek to emulate Christ with how I live my life by walking in his ways and following God's laws. There is a misconception, I think, that God's law somehow limits personal freedom. In some ways, sure it does. Yet, in other ways living within God's law creates freedom. What do I mean? </div>
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One of the least popular of God's "rules" is that sex belongs inside the union of marriage. Think about our society. Sex is portrayed in the media as no big deal. In a movie, when the hero and heroine sleep together after they've barely had an opportunity to know each other, it's expected. Part of being a liberated woman is now accepting your sexuality and throwing it out there for all the world to see. That's what you see the women on TV and in the movies doing, right? Having one night stands and sleeping with a different guy every night, giving it up in a drunken stupor. </div>
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Tell me this though. Do even the characters on the screen seem fulfilled by this? If this is really how we are supposed to be expressing our sexuality, then why do we celebrate marriage? We're just limited our sexual freedom, right? </div>
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I am twenty-three, a college graduate, a feminist, and... a virgin. Yes, you read correctly. I made a promise to God that I would wait until marriage to share that part of myself with another. I've had boyfriends, not many but a few, and they all respected (if not exactly supported) my position. It's not always been easy; I have been tempted like every other human being. There is freedom in my choice. What freedom? The freedom to not worry about an STD, or a surprise pregnancy, or whether the person I just slept with really cares or just wanted booty. When I do get married, and do have sex, I will not have to worry that this relationship is fleeting, that any moment could be the end. </div>
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You may think I'm crazy, or naive, or stupid. It's okay. There is a quote that I saw some where that said, "I think the concept of virginity was created by men who thought their penises were so important it changes who a woman is." I have two things to say about this. Number one: men can be virgins two, and God expects the same standard of sexual morality out of both men and women. Number two: Being a virgin doesn't change who I am. It doesn't define me as a person. Sex is something I choose to refrain from, like some people refrain from eating meat. My life isn't centered around my (lack of) sex life. I am living my life under God's and my terms. When I get married, that relationship will doubtlessly change my life in many ways; it will become part of my life. </div>
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So there it is. I'm not saying my choice is popular. I know plenty of people, plenty of Christians, even, who have made a different choice. And that's okay. Your choices are between you, God, and your partner. </div>
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Blessings,</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" /></a></div>
Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-77279994030020850512013-07-12T19:38:00.001-04:002013-07-12T19:38:36.061-04:00Fun Facts Friday: Top Ten Places I want to Visit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So some of these places I have visited, and some of them I haven't. But this is my list so I can do what I want. </div>
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<b>1. Disney World</b></div>
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I am a child, clearly, because I've been to Disney World twice is recent history and yet I am still desperate to go back again. In fact, we're making plans to go back again. I just love it there; It's the happiest place on earth. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.wdwforgrownups.com/sites/default/files/princesses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www.wdwforgrownups.com/sites/default/files/princesses.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.wdwforgrownups.com/articles/breakfast-princesses-disney-world">http://www.wdwforgrownups.com/articles/breakfast-princesses-disney-world</a></td></tr>
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<b>2. Oxford, UK</b></div>
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The second place on this list I have actually visited. I miss those winding streets. There are so many things I meant to do while I was there that I just... didn't. So I want to go stay in a hostel and visit the museums I never went to, and also the ones I did. Relive the golden days. Please. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://acmrs.org/sites/default/files/Oxford%20United%20Kingdom%201183453762_0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://acmrs.org/sites/default/files/Oxford%20United%20Kingdom%201183453762_0.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://acmrs.org/academic-programs/oxford">http://acmrs.org/academic-programs/oxford</a></td></tr>
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<b>3. Dublin, Ireland</b></div>
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The capitol of Ireland. It is full of beautiful statues and parks, museums, shops, and pubs. And drunk Irishmen. I would love to go for St. Patrick's Day some year. Meet my Irish roots and see the rolling hills of green. Also, I would love to find a leprechaun and get a pot of gold. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/067/cache/pub-dublin-ireland_6794_600x450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/067/cache/pub-dublin-ireland_6794_600x450.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/countries/ireland-photos/">http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/countries/ireland-photos/</a></td></tr>
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<b>4. Nice, France</b></div>
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Nice (pronounced "nees"), is on the south coast of France and has white sand beaches and azure blue waters on the Mediterranean. The weather is apparently lovely almost always, and there is a Matisse museum, plus excellent shopping and places to visit. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://travelandtourismguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/imgnic3243234.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://travelandtourismguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/imgnic3243234.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://travelandtourismguide.com/things-to-do-in-nice-france/">http://travelandtourismguide.com/things-to-do-in-nice-france/</a></td></tr>
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<b>5. Bruges, Belgium</b></div>
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Bruges is a canaled city in Belgium. It is used frequently for historical films. There are awesome museums, and even a hotel that was once a palace. I would love to go around Christmas time when they have a wonderful Christmas market, complete with ice skating rink. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02382/Bruges-night_2382110b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02382/Bruges-night_2382110b.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/belgium/9640731/Bruges-Belgium-under-the-spell-of-the-Middle-Ages.html">http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/belgium/9640731/Bruges-Belgium-under-the-spell-of-the-Middle-Ages.html</a></td></tr>
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<b>6. Paris, France</b></div>
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The Eiffel Tower, the Lourve, Notre Dame, The Paris opera house, and French pastries. A stereotypical dream destination but I still want to go. Sounds like fun, don't you think? Maybe a nice French musician will sucumb to my American charms. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://topwalls.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Paris-france.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://topwalls.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Paris-france.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://topwalls.net/paris-france/">http://topwalls.net/paris-france/</a></td></tr>
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<b>7. Venice, Italy </b></div>
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So Venice is comprised of a group of small islands, full of canals, and is sinking into the sea. So I would like to go see it now before it becomes one with the ocean. Preferably with my imaginary husband by my side for a romantic gondola ride. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33000000/The-Beautifulness-of-Venice-italy-33084425-1600-1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33000000/The-Beautifulness-of-Venice-italy-33084425-1600-1200.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/italy/images/33084425/title/beautifulness-venice-photo">http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/italy/images/33084425/title/beautifulness-venice-photo</a></td></tr>
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<b>8. St. Petersburg, Russia</b></div>
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I want to see those gorgeous onion domes for myself. I want to see the old palace and brave the cold of Northern Russia. Maybe get a fur coat. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://famouswonders.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/St-Petersburg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://famouswonders.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/St-Petersburg.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://famouswonders.com/st-petersburg/">http://famouswonders.com/st-petersburg/</a></td></tr>
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<b>9. Edinburgh, Scotland</b></div>
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The Capitol city of Scotland, full of old buildings, winding streets, beautiful churches and museums, pubs, shops, etc. Many wonderful sites to see. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.experienceenglish.com/sites/default/files/styles/218x144/public/schools/edinburgh_-_calton_hill_nov_12_0.jpg?itok=AgDYah-4" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://www.experienceenglish.com/sites/default/files/styles/218x144/public/schools/edinburgh_-_calton_hill_nov_12_0.jpg?itok=AgDYah-4" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://www.experienceenglish.com/our-schools/edinburgh">http://www.experienceenglish.com/our-schools/edinburgh</a></td></tr>
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<b>10. Chernobyl/Pripyat, Ukraine</b></div>
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I know this makes me a freak of nature but I really want to go see the falling apart city and watch nature taking over what man has created. There's even a broken down carnival! </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_dlkAw43cLC0/Sco7tQmGUTI/AAAAAAAAECU/bdhbUB-n7g0/s800/Chernobyl-Today-A-Creepy-Story-told-in-Pictures-funfair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_dlkAw43cLC0/Sco7tQmGUTI/AAAAAAAAECU/bdhbUB-n7g0/s320/Chernobyl-Today-A-Creepy-Story-told-in-Pictures-funfair.jpg" width="274" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://villageofjoy.com/chernobyl-today-a-creepy-story-told-in-pictures/">http://villageofjoy.com/chernobyl-today-a-creepy-story-told-in-pictures/</a></td></tr>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-23391399747651205392013-07-10T21:31:00.000-04:002013-07-10T21:31:38.279-04:00It's all about perspective...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I am a terrible blogger and you should all probably hate me and throw rocks at me for my failure to, you know, post with regularity. Yet somehow my page views are up? Mysteries never cease. I'm still crazy busy with work and all the driving and the exhaustion and whatnot. Sorry this blog has fallen by the way side. </div>
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So I am working as a bank teller for the summer which is a surprisingly stressful job. You think it's just counting money and smiling at customers but it's way more than that. There are all kinds of rules of things I can and cannot do, most of which I cannot discuss. Mistakes can be costly. It is very stressful at times, especially for me, the raging perfectionist. </div>
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Let me be clear. I do not consider myself to be perfect, by any means at all. There has only been one perfect person, and he died on a cross for me. I have screwed up in a thousand and one ways, like most people. I am no better or worse than anybody else. The issue, I think, is how I react to my mistakes. </div>
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The perfectionist in me does not like to let myself move on from mistakes. Rather than saying "well that sucks" and moving on, I have the tendency to obsess over every minute error I have made. I have trouble shutting down the inner monologue often times, no matter how many times others reassure me (or I reassure myself) that it is okay. </div>
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I suffer from depression and have been on and off medication/therapy for such since I was sixteen. Just like the chicken and the egg, I'm not sure which came first: the depression or the perfectionism/anxiety. They are most certainly tied, right down to the chemical imbalance in my brain. It comes down to a lovely chemical called serotonin. A flood of that little chemical can cause feelings of anxiety and irritability. The flood dissipates and suddenly depression sets in. Back and forth, back and forth. </div>
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I've been in an "off" phase with medicine lately which I like because I don't have to remember to take the pills or deal with the side effects. Lately, however, I've been thinking that the fatigue (often pretty severe) would probably be worth it to lessen the extreme anxious feelings. More than you probably wanted to know, I'm sure. </div>
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Through all of this, I try my level best to find positivity. I try to focus on the blessings God has given me in my life rather than my shortcomings. I am not always successful--I'm not perfect, afterall--but I know that no matter how bad I think things are, God has blessed me and I have wonderful life. </div>
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A wonderful, super busy life. So sorry if the posts are a little scattered. Ta-ta for now.</div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-42444708965488117332013-06-28T15:00:00.000-04:002013-06-28T15:00:04.381-04:00Fun Facts Friday: Five Blogs I Follow<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This is not an all inclusive list. It isn't really ranked either. These are just ten of the blogs that I follow, the ones I would probably consider to be my favorites. </div>
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<b>1. <a href="http://pinstrosity.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Pinstrosity</a></b></div>
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Two fantastic ladies experiment with things they find on Pinterest and also post about other people's pinterest disasters. Much hilarity. </div>
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<b>2. <a href="http://hubbyjacksblogattack.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Hubby Jack's Blog Attack</a></b></div>
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Hubby Jack (aka Chris Stanfield) designed my blog and it's gorgeous. He is also hilarious in making fun of all of the blog women out there. Of which I am one but still...</div>
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<b>3. <a href="http://www.refashionista.net/" target="_blank">ReFashionista</a></b></div>
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One of my sewing inspirations. She takes extremely ugly thrift store finds and transforms them into something awesome that she actually wears in public. </div>
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<b>4. <a href="http://www.younghouselove.com/" target="_blank">Young House Love</a></b></div>
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This couple rocks. They DIY massive projects in their house and blog about it and their lives. It's fantastic and they bought a new house with horrible blue trim that they are making over. </div>
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<b>5. <a href="http://www.sugarbeecrafts.com/" target="_blank">Sugar Bee Crafts</a></b></div>
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So many cute crafts and posts by Mandy, a very nice lady. She is also a silhouette blogger and does all kinds of cool stuff.</div>
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I follow a lot of blogs so this is not an all inclusive list by any means. These are just five of the ones that I check every single day so they deserve a shout out from me... for whatever it's worth :)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieNU86CQnkwu_A4q_8rmumON-L-LSFoh5P6elJBj5sk-e0YDDd-cuBQPEuXUvA6znTa8NGEdNoCP1DoKTlsN0JCs2QNXoMXOptMSgzLyLbwpB7Flk6j81P6KzTO4DsLG-ifO4DrOTr6bQ/s1600/new+signature.jpg" /></a></div>
Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3510948279173513329.post-52801307978992951182013-06-23T15:11:00.002-04:002013-06-23T15:11:55.817-04:00Still Alive... I think. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
So to make a long story short, I am not dead. You can rest easy that I am not off decaying some where which is preventing you all from hearing my wonderful literary voice. I'm just tired. </div>
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I started a new job as a bank teller not quite a month ago. I enjoy the job most of the time but there are challenges and I am driving an hour each way to work. This means I get up at 5:30 each morning, leaving the house at 7, and return home around 6:30PM. I get 45 minutes for lunch where I attempt to not fall asleep with my face in my plate of leftovers and drink way too much coffee. Upon arriving home, I usually eat dinner very soon after arriving, and then collapse into a heap of exhausted Caitlin, going to be by 9:30 most nights, only to be awoken by Fonzie, our dog, scratching at the door. </div>
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I also recently got a new job for next school year. I'll skip the details for now. I've been hired but I haven't officially signed the paperwork yet. But I'm very excited and mildly terrified but it will be great. </div>
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So the down side of my taking this teller ob is that I really don't get a vacation this summer. I had planned to go to Creation and also to go on a mission trip come August but that isn't going to happen. I also can't teach Vacation Bible School this summer either... </div>
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I will try to be a bit more reliable in posting but unfortunately, I can make no promises. blargh. Anyway. Have a good week, all. </div>
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Caitlinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12151098376611881544noreply@blogger.com0