I'll never be...

I'll never be...

A size zero.  And I am perfectly okay with that.  While I'd love to lose a few more, I could stay the size I am for the rest of my life and be perfectly satisfied.  

I'll never be...

Neat and organized.  Much to the chagrin of my mother, I am messy and chaotic and disorganized.  And I'm okay with that.  I clean up when I want to or when I need to.  There are more important things to me.  

I'll never be...

Completely free of judgement.  Nor will I ever be free from caring about people's judgements about me.  This is a hard one for me to admit to.  I am doing a lot better on this front, and I rarely voice my judgements and frustrations with others publicly.  I hold myself to a very high standard in many ways, and it's hard at times when people don't hold themselves to those same expectations.  More and more, though, I am able to push past my judgmental nature and find my empathy and compassion.  I try to place myself in the other person's shoes.  I am striving to stop seeing the specks when I'm walking around with a plank in my own eye.  

I'll never be...

Done learning.  I'm an adult and a teacher, and sometimes I swear I'm learning more than the kids each day.  I'm not sure this is a bad thing.  

I'll never be...

Perfect.  And that's okay, because there aren't perfect people.  To claim anything else would be a flat out LIE.  The point for me, though, is that despite all my flaws, all my messed-up views and screwed up ways, Jesus loved me enough to die for me.  That's something I can't forget.  When I find myself judging someone, I try to look through the eyes of Jesus and love like he does.  Do I always succeed?  No.  But every day I try, and try, and try again.  

I'll never be able to fully love like Jesus, but I surely can try.